"Jace!" A hard knock sounded at the door. "Jace, it's Grandma! I brought you tea!"
"Shit!"
"Hee-haw." I chuckled.
"Not the time for games, Beth. I'll pay you. I will do anything you want. I'll go find Frank. I'll let Frank bite me — just don't let her think I'm healthy. Please, I can't take one more thing."
He looked too pitiful. Too beautiful. And honestly? I wanted to be stuck in the room with him. I wanted him all to myself.
"Lie back."
"Wait, what are you doing?"
He struggled against me while I pulled his shirt over his head and pulled the covers over his body.
"Just a minute, Grandma!" I ran into the bathroom and got some hot water and a washrag. I threw it at Jace's face and whispered, "Fever of a hundred, your muscles ache, you've lost vision in your left eye, are sensitive to loud noises and light, and have a sore throat."
"So I'm dying?" he snapped.
"No. You have the flu. Stop being such a guy and cough."
"Oh, if I had a dollar for every time a doctor told me that."
I smirked and gave him a pointed stare before marching to the door and throwing it open.
"Oh Grandma, I'm so glad you cared enough to come, but I have everything totally under control."
"Do you?" Her eyebrow shot up as she peered around me. "Have you used the honey?"
"Er, no."
"Or the onions and mustard?"
"He's sick, not planning a picnic."
Grandma pushed past me. "And the tea? Did you make the tea?"
"Not yet, but—"
"Move."
Grandma shoved me aside and breezed into the room, carrying something on a tray. Something that smelled like shit, actual shit, not Donkey.
"So you say you're sick?" Grandma paced in front of Jace's bed. He had that deer-in-headlights look that people get when they don't know how to lie to save their lives.
I made wild gestures behind Grandma, grabbing my throat and then touching my forehead and finally covering my left eye. Unfortunately, she chose that exact moment to turn around.
"What are you doing?"
"P-pirate."
"Role play," Jace interjected. "When I was a kid, my dad used to do a pirate voice to make me feel better."
"Oh, how lovely." Grandma took a seat on the bed. "You may proceed, Beth."
"Yes, Beth," Jace's stone face cracked into a smile, "proceed. You know how much better it makes my tummy."
I was going to kill him. No, better yet, I was going to leave him to Grandma, see how he liked her as a nurse when she was stabbing a needle in his godlike ass.