Grandma's eyes narrowed. "And you two are… reunited?"
"Yes," I answered for both of us.
"And the child?"
"For the last time, I'm not pregnant!" Beth shrieked.
"But, honey bear, do you even remember your night with this one? For all you know, he could have put on a raincoat and chanted around the bed before he rutted you—"
"Oh, good Lord, did you say Rut?" Jace half whispered.
"It's what animals do, and we are animals."
"NO." Beth shook her head. "No, we aren't."
"At any rate, I'd get checked." Grandma sniffed. "Besides, I need more great-grandchildren."
I wasn't about to explain that technically they wouldn't be her great-grandchildren I had a feeling that there wasn't a way I was going to permanently exorcise her from our lives, so I may as well go with it.
"Oh" Grandma clapped, "and I'm happy to announce that Char is just fine! Low blood sugar! Pregnancy messes with you."
"So, she is pregnant?" Jake was probably scared shitless.
"Yup." Grandma beamed. "Grandchild number one, though I gave good ol' Travis an earful about how he clearly isn't doing things right in the bedroom, if Jake and Char are breeding first."
"Breeding?" Beth repeated under her breath.
"At any rate. I'm sure he's just fine now. I explained a few of the mechanics that I'm sure he was confused with. After all, a Grandma knows these things. To think he wasn't even aware of the best positions for conception! I sent him pictures."
"Of?"
"Kama Sutra." Grandma nodded "From the Google."
"Aw hell," I muttered.
"What?" Grandma shrugged innocently.
"Since everything's okay, I guess Beth and I will just go—"
First thought? Drink wine, followed by sex, more wine, more sex, no unplanned pregnancies, and hopefully I'd finally get to pull her hair. Thank God.
"Well, the media is having a frenzy. They watch poor Jake's house like it's Netflix. The story's already been leaked, wouldn't want you guys getting caught up in it."
"Oh." Beth's face fell.
"But never fear." Grandma straightened her jacket and smirked "I've got a plan." She turned the full force of her frightening gaze to me. "How good are you with driving vans?"
Chapter Thirty-six
"So you're saying he kidnapped himself?"
"That's what I'm saying."
"No drugs involved?"
Grandma shrugged. "That van has many uses. I may have hid the rufies under the seat to keep them from the feds, but really, Gus? I panicked!"
"So where is the senator? A reporter saw the van drive off. They saw you get in the van."