Could a man die from embarrassment?
Stacey. He didn’t remember her name, but he remembered her face. Two months ago, bar in Belltown. What were the odds that the one girl in his life that he couldn’t actually perform for would be in this drugstore? At this moment.
That’s it. Grandma had put a microphone on his body. Somewhere. She was listening, always watching. Holy shit, she was working for NASA.
“You been good?” She played with the box, and then, seeming to remember she was holding it handed it over and paused. “Wait, these for you?”
Char reached for the box. “Yeah, they are. Right, Jakey?”
Jake could only nod while little parts of his manhood floated away before his very eyes. May as well go grab a Nicholas Sparks movie and sit at home with a bottle of wine and talk about his PMS.
He was done for.
“Well, uh.” Stacey started backing up slowly. Like any sane woman would when faced with this type of situation. No doubt she was thanking God for small favors as she disappeared down the aisle.
“Okay.” Bob clapped his hands. “Let see what else that treasure for a grandmother put on the list.”
“Yes.” Char grinned. “Let’s.”
“Really?” Jake ground out as he elbowed Char in the ribs. “A tiny problem? You know that’s not true. I mean, you really know that’s not true.”
She shrugged.
Damn it. You know a man’s desperate when he’s ready to strip his clothes down and flash the man at the drug store just to prove a point.
Either desperate or eager for prison.
Holy shit when would this day end?
“Ah, here we are.” Bob said, pulling out a small white bag with a prescription stapled to it. “This should help immensely. Now, be sure to only take it when you need it. If your erection lasts for longer than four hours, seek medical help immediately. But it should truly improve the honeymoon. If you get my meaning.” He winked at Char.
She giggled back.
“I don’t need that.” Jake crossed his arms.
“Your grandmother said—”
“She’s senile! Last week she wanted to do a Vegas show with tigers!” Jake yelled.
“Now son—”
“Jake.” Char patted his arm. “It’s okay to admit when you have a problem.”
Forcing himself to grin, he turned to Char. “You know what, sweetheart?”
Her eyes smiled. “What?”
“You’re right.”
“I am?” Her smile fell as her eyes narrowed.
“Of course.” Jake wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “Which is probably why Grandma opted against the liquor or wine in the basket.”
“But—“
“Drinking problem.” Jake nodded his head toward Char. “It’s okay, though. After all, you’ve been clean for how long, sweetie? A day?” He snapped his fingers. “Oh wait, never mind, I forgot about the flask in your purse. Baby, it’s good to know we can talk about these things together. Maybe now that you’ve told me you’ll stop drinking we can get pregnant. So, so thankful for that fertility test.”
Char’s eyes flared to life. “Yes. So thankful.” Her words were clipped. “After all, if you take the Viagra at least I’ll be able to remember the fact that we even had sex!”