Summer Sins

Hayley was well aware over the next two weeks that Jasper was doing his best to avoid her. She threw herself into work at the salon, pinning a bright smile on her face for the sake of her clients, but as she drove back to Jasper’s house each evening it was with a heavy heart.

She had moved her things back into one of the spare rooms, and when Rosario gave her a puzzled look when she came to clean Hayley explained she had a cold and didn’t want to give it to Jasper. It was partly true, she rationalised the little white lie. She did feel unwell. Her appetite had faded considerably, which was highly unusual, and her stomach felt squeamish every time she smelt certain aromas, in particular coffee.

The following day Lucy came from the café down the road with their standard mid-morning pick-me-up caffeine hit. ‘One latte coming up,’ she said and, taking off the lid, handed it to her.

Hayley put a hand up to her mouth and ran out the back to the small bathroom and promptly threw up. Lucy squeezed in behind her and handed her a soft towel.

‘I’m thinking that instead of the coffee maybe I should have bought you a pregnancy test instead,’ she remarked wryly.

Hayley felt her skin begin to shiver as she did the numbers on her cycle. She was ten days late, which was not all that unusual as she had never been particularly regular, especially during times of stress, but her breasts were feeling tender as well. She had been pushing the thought aside for days, unwilling to accept the possibility that she was carrying Jasper’s child. A child he would see as a mistake just like the first one he had fathered.

‘It might be a stomach bug,’ she said in between another bout of retching.

‘Yeah, I’ve seen that type of bug before. It lasts about nine months and grows to the size of a small football,’ Lucy said dryly.

Hayley washed her face and grimaced as she looked in the mirror. ‘It would be just my luck. We’re splitting up in a week.’

‘So he’s still pretty keen to call an end to it?’ Lucy asked.

Hayley sighed. ‘Yes. He’s already distancing himself. I can feel it.’

‘I won’t say I told you so.’

‘Thanks.’

‘But I will say why don’t you take the rest of the day off? I’ve had a cancellation so I can do Mrs Pritchard for you and the rest of the day’s bookings are fairly well spaced.’

‘Would you mind?’

‘Of course not,’ Lucy said with a smile. ‘Go and get a test done and have a think about what you’re going to do.’

‘I already know what I’m going to do,’ Hayley said as she gathered her things togeth

er.

Lucy gave her a penetrating look. ‘You’re not thinking of not telling him, are you?’

‘I can’t tell him.’

‘You have to tell him!’

‘No, Lucy. I can’t. Do you realise how angry he would be? He’s had to deal with an unwanted child ever since he was eighteen. I couldn’t possibly tell him, he might make me have an abortion or something.’

‘No one can force you to do that unless you think it’s the right thing for you.’

‘It wouldn’t be the right thing for me, but telling Jasper he’s going to be a father is not going to be the right thing either. He’ll think I did it deliberately to trap him into staying married to me.’

‘Didn’t you?’

Hayley bit her lip. ‘Not consciously, but maybe deep down inside I think I let things happen that shouldn’t have happened,’ she confessed. ‘I should have been more careful.’

‘It seems to me even a nun would have a hard time resisting Jasper Caulfield,’ Lucy said as she rinsed out the towel and handed it to Hayley.

‘Tell me about it,’ Hayley said as she buried her head into its cooling freshness.

Hayley looked at the results of the pregnancy test with a combination of joy and dread. She put a hand to her belly and felt a wave of awe pass through her that she was carrying Jasper’s child. But when she allowed herself to think of his reaction to the news she felt a tidal wave of panic swamp her. Her only comfort was they would be soon separating and unlikely to run into each other now that Gerald had passed away. It was against her principles to conceal such life-changing news from him but she knew he had no interest in being a father a second time.

She heard him come home and quickly scrunched up the packet and stuffed it in the bottom of the bathroom bin, promising herself she’d take it out to the main rubbish container later.