I groaned. “I said I would go to a doctor,” I said.
“I mean with you being different. I can’t put my finger on it, but I know you. And this isn’t you.”
My stomach turned. She was right, of course. It was all the lies and sneaking around that did it, but there it was.
“I’m going,” Lily said.
“That’s it?” I asked. “That’s all you came to say to me?”
“My lunch break is pretty much over. I came to check on you because I feel like you’re so far away I can’t reach you. I was right, too, wasn’t I?”
I didn’t answer her. Of course, she was right. That was Lily, strong and confident and almost always right.
“I’ll talk to you later,” she said when I didn’t respond. She left my apartment, seeing herself out and closing the door behind her. I sank to the kitchen floor when she was gone. This was getting harder and harder to hide. What was I going to do when I was starting to show? And with three babies inside me, that was going to be a lot sooner than if I only carried one.
I was in trouble.
I got in bed and slept for the rest of the day. I was so damned tired. It was a thing, apparently. Pregnant women were tired all the time. When I woke up, it was almost dark, and I felt uncomfortable and restless. I couldn’t get into anything on TV. I couldn’t relax. Lily’s words kept going through my mind–are you pregnant? She wasn’t stupid.
If Evan didn’t talk to her soon, she would figure it out by hers
elf, and then we would all be in so much shit. It would shatter our friendship.
I had to talk to Evan about it. I called a cab and made my way to Evan’s house. On the way, I texted him, telling him I was coming. I needed to talk to him. This wasn’t about sex at all, but he’d known earlier that I wasn’t okay. He would want to talk, too. He was just as good at reading me as Lily was. Apparently, it was impossible hide anything from the Burkes.
Being pregnant also made me emotional. I wanted to cry. Everything felt too big for me. My stomach hurt, and I felt uncomfortable in my clothes. They were scratchy on my skin.
Evan opened the door before I had a chance to announce my arrival. He put his arms around me and folded me against him.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
I shook my head. I knew that it wasn’t such a big deal, but suddenly, I just wasn’t okay at all.
“Come on inside,” Evan said. “To the kitchen. I made food.”
I followed him to the kitchen. The whole house had a romantic feel to it. The lights were all dimmed, and music played from somewhere, something soft and soothing. This was so different from all the other times I’d come here, when we’d fucked and I’d left right after.
In the kitchen, candles were lit on the shelves, and the white tiles with stainless steel appliances and granite countertops somehow looked soft and inviting. I sat down on a stool at the breakfast bar. Evan brought a platter with different kinds of crackers and cheese.
“This looks great,” I said. It was light, not a full meal, not a dinner. It was just what I needed.
“What’s bothering you?” Evan asked after we’d eaten in silence for a while.
“Lily,” I said. “We have to talk to her. She was at my place earlier, and she suspects that something’s up.”
“What did you say to her?” Evan asked.
“That it’s probably a bug or something.”
Evan nodded. “Yeah, that’s not going to last.”
I sighed and took another bite of a Saltine. The cheese proved to be too rich for my tender stomach, so I stuck to just having the crackers. My stomach turned, and I paused.
“Are you okay?” Evan asked.
I shook my head. The food was going to make a reappearance. I jumped up and ran to the guest toilet that was opposite the front entrance. I made it to the toilet just in time and threw up everything I’d just eaten.
Evan came after me.