A wedding ring would be a true commitment on his part, Tabby thought. A little glow of happiness started to expand inside her. Why had Christien not made it clear that he was talking about marriage from the outset? Her embryo glow dimmed a little. She had a shrinking suspicion that he might only have come up with the marriage idea as a last resort. A last resort to get her into bed and keep her there until familiarity bred contempt?
Paling, Tabby could not bring herself to meet Christien’s eyes. He would be furious, and excusably so, if he knew what she was thinking. At the same time, she found it hard to credit that he was willing to give up his freedom solely for Jake’s benefit. And even if he was, it would take more than sex and a praiseworthy wish to be a good parent to hold a marriage together. But then wasn’t it also possible that she was misjudging Christien? He might not be in love with her, but that did not mean that he did not have warm feelings for her.
‘What about us?’ Tabby asked abruptly.
‘Us?’ Christien looked blank.
‘You and me…how you feel about me,’ Tabby muttered awkwardly.
Christien vented a husky laugh and treated her to a downright lascivious appraisal that radiated sexual heat. ‘Hungry,’ he growled without hesitation.
‘That’s not quite what I meant. When I mentioned how you feel about me…hmm…’ Tabby steeled herself to forge ahead and rise above all mortification because it was very clear that he was not about to give her any help.
‘What are you getting at?’
‘Er…love.’ Tabby finally got it out.
Instantly, Christien recoiled. ‘What’s love got to do with it?’
Tabby’s heart sank. Rarely did anyone receive an answer that bristled with such clarity. Talk about slamming the door shut on her dreams! One reference to love and he backed off six feet and could not conceal his revulsion. Even so, he had proposed…after a fashion. Instincts she was ashamed of urged her to accept first, get smart with him about terms later. But he was being so shallow about something that she took very seriously. She wanted her marriage to have the best possible chance of lasting until she was old and grey.
‘The civil ceremony will take ten days to organise,’ Christien commented.
‘I haven’t said yes.’
Emanating confidence, Christien bent mocking dark golden eyes on her. ‘I’ll make the arrangements…now come here.’
Christien began to pull her inch by inch back to him, his hungry gaze devouring her. Tabby breathed in deep. She knew that she was facing a definitive moment in her relationship with Christien. She had never planned anything with him, had never demanded anything from him either. Loving him from the first, she had let her heart rule her head and had then suffered the consequences.
But now Jake had to be considered. Christien himself had stressed that their son’s needs should be placed ahead of their own more selfish desires and doubtless that was why he had decided to propose. Unhappily, Tabby could not bring herself to believe that their marriage would last six months on so shallow a basis as sex. If Jake was not to be torn apart by a divorce, Christien would have to be prepared to make more effort.
‘Right at this minute, I’m not actually saying yes to marrying you,’ Tabby told Christien tautly.
Black brows pleating, Christien jerked back from her again. ‘Then what are you saying?’
‘I’d like to say yes but I just don’t think I can. We don’t have enough going for us-’
‘We have a son and dynamite sexual attraction!’
‘If it doesn’t work out, it will hurt Jake most of all…a lot of husbands and wives end up hating each other when they split up-’
‘Are you always this optimistic?’ Christien asked very drily.
‘I’m putting Jake first like you said we should.’ Tabby thrust up her chin. ‘If I did marry you, I know I’d try hard to make it work. But I’m not convinced you would do the same-’
Christien was getting riled. ‘Why the hell not?’
‘You’re spoiled. Life’s a breeze for you. You’re good-looking, rich and successful and you’re just not used to having to make an effort in relationships-’
Christien’s stubborn jawline was at an aggressive angle. ‘But naturally I could make that effort if I had to.’
‘Dragging me into the nearest bed wouldn’t count,’ Tabby returned in some embarrassment, but she knew it needed to be said.
‘Since when did I have to drag you?’ Christien derided silkily. ‘We’re talking in circles here, ma belle.’
‘No, we’re not, you’re not listening to what I’m saying. I want to marry you, but not if it’s likely to end in tears so that Jake suffers for my having made the wrong choice-’
‘I can’t offer you some miracle guarantee-’