Excitement took her in a wave of such blinding intensity that she was lost from that instant on. He spread her out like a willing sacrifice for his enjoyment and worked his erotic way down over her shivering, gasping length until the only awareness she possessed centred on the incredible heights of sensation her own body was capable of reaching. No, she could never have guessed that anything could be as powerful as her own total absorption in what he could make her feel. When a shattering climax gripped her and hurled her even higher, she could only moan and cling to him in ecstasy, only afterwards realising in extreme embarrassment and confusion that she had reached that ultimate height without his having made love to her and that, indeed, all the pleasure had been hers and none of it his.
‘Why…? I mean—?’ Lily began to mumble as she grabbed frantically at the towel beneath her, desperate for its concealment.
Holding her close, Rauf smoothed her hair back from her damp brow with an unsteady hand. ‘I couldn’t protect you…I won’t risk getting you pregnant,’ he admitted in a ragged undertone, for even her bewilderment at his restraint was more than his conscience could stand at that instant. ‘Go back to my room and sleep, güzelim. Later, we’ll talk.’
At that reference to pregnancy Lily tensed, realising with dismay that she ought to have had sufficient common sense to have foreseen that danger for herself. Pulling the towel round herself with hands that were all fingers and thumbs, she slid off the platform onto limbs that were still weak as water and hurried back into the changing room without looking back. He made her feel like a wanton. He made her realise that she had not known herself until he had shown her what passion was.
Lean, strong face grim with the gravity of thoughts that he could no longer avoid, Rauf plunged into the icy pool. From the very outset of Lily’s arrival in his country, he saw that he had been selfish, in fact reckless in his treatment of her. He had brought her to Sonngul, taken her to his own bed and within a very little while, for gossip was the very food of life to his people, half the neighbourhood would be scandalised by that news. The standards of moral behaviour that prevailed in the countryside were very much higher than those of the slick city society in which he moved and he had no excuse to offer on his own behalf. Were word of the intimacy of his relationship with Lily to reach the ears of the army officer, Talip Hajjar, the older man’s belief in her respectability would sink without trace.
Rauf squared his broad shoulders and swung back out of the pool. The anger of the past had powered his initial aggressive attitude and the strength of his hunger for her had led him on to a dishonourable path before he had even registered the danger and the wrong of what he’d been doing. There was only one way in which he could make appropriate amends and protect Lily: he would marry her. With as much haste and secrecy as his wealth could buy him, he would get a wedding ring on her finger before any damage could be done to her reputation. She deserved his respect and the protection of his name.
CHAPTER SEVEN
ALTHOUGH Lily had not believed that she could sleep again, the minute her head touched the pillow she sank into a deep slumber. She wakened when a maid entered bearing a laden tray and was startled to realise that it was almost two in the afternoon; the snatched and broken hours of rest she had suffered since her arrival in Turkey had finally taken their toll.
Even as she ate, all she could think about was Rauf. Everything had happened so incredibly fast and hadn’t she encouraged that? Hadn’t she been ready to do almost anything to get a second chance with Rauf? Her troubled face flamed with guilty colour. She remembered her total absorption in Rauf at dawn, the shameless speed with which she had succumbed to her own passionate need for him and abandoned all control. For a lowering instant, she wondered how he had transformed her into a wanton creature without apparent self-will.
But then wasn’t that her old insecurity and lack of self-esteem creeping back up out of her subconscious again? For the very first time, Lily told herself, she had reached out and taken what she wanted and she had wanted Rauf. She had always wanted Rauf. Acknowledging that, she was proud that she had found the courage that she had once lacked. She felt alive again and it had been too long since she had felt like that. When had she last been so happy? That summer with Rauf three years back. For Lily, that single fact outweighed all else for simple happiness had been in too short a supply throughout her life.
When she heard the noisy clickety-clack of a helicopter coming in low to land, she was putting on a grey short-sleeved cotton dress that Hilary had loaned her and she hurried over to the window to push back the shutter. From there, she watched Rauf spring out of the craft and stride towards the house. Just looking at the arrogant angle of his dark head, the hard, masculine perfection of his bold profile and the lithe power and command of his tall, well-built frame made her heart leap.
Rauf had had an exceptionally busy morning. He had embarked on the arrangements for a civil wedding in a remote mountain town where
his name was unlikely to be recognised and where nothing any journalist might consider worthy of note appeared ever to have happened. He had then flown over to the former mining village to meet with the builders ripped off by Brett Gilman. Over a very long, typically Turkish male-bonding session, he had contrived to dissuade them from dropping the charges against Gilman. He was justly proud that he had achieved that feat without offending their need to demonstrate gratitude for the compensation he had paid.
He stopped with deliberate intent to chat to Irmak, his middle-aged and devout housekeeper, who had been most noticeable by the low profile she had embraced since Lily’s arrival at Sonngul. Asking where Lily was, he referred to her as his wife while affecting not to notice the surprise, excitement and sheer relief that Irmak was incapable of concealing from him. Although he hated to tell an untruth, he already thought of Lily as his wife and, when it came to protecting her and redressing the damage he had done, he could not regret it.
Rauf strode up the stairs into the basoda and saw Lily, her lovely face warm with self-conscious colour, rising from the window-seat in the far corner to greet him. In one glance, he took in her ill-fitting drab dress that even his great-grandmother would have been challenged to admire and knew that his first gift to Lily when she became his wife would be a new wardrobe.
‘I slept for absolutely ages,’ Lily remarked in a stilted rush, assailed by a tide of discomfiture as she recalled her own abandoned response to his expertise in the hamam.
‘I had some business to take care of,’ Rauf drawled, catching her slim, restive hands in the gentle hold of his to draw her forward.
As Lily tilted her head back to look up into his dark golden gaze, familiar butterflies broke loose in her tummy, followed by a coiling twist of wicked heat that made her breath catch in her throat. She wanted that hard, handsome mouth on her own so badly she could almost taste it, almost taste him. A wanton little frisson of pure, helpless longing slivered through her taut figure.
‘No, we’re not heading back to bed, güzelim,’ Rauf murmured in rueful reproach as if she had spoken that invitation out loud. Pressing her back down onto the divan behind her, he withdrew a step. ‘Yesterday you asked me if I was in the habit of rushing into sudden passionate encounters with women and I said, “Not since I was a teenager”…an answer that should have given me pause for serious thought.’
‘I don’t understand…’ As Rauf released her hand, a chill of fear spread through Lily’s tense body. Was he saying that making love to her had been a mistake? A mistake he regretted and did not intend to repeat?
‘Here in my home land, women may be the equal of men in law but if a woman embraces sexual freedom, she will lose her good name,’ Rauf admitted, assessing her pale set face and lowered eyes with concern. ‘If I keep you here at Sonngul, if we continue as we have begun, you will be regarded as my mistress and, no matter what happens in the future, your reputation will be irreparably damaged.’
His mistress. It had a sexy, adventurous sound to it, Lily conceded with a certain amount of pride in that designation. She loved him. Her bland workaday world had been transformed into one of colour, passion, sunlight and emotion. She did not regret sharing his bed. If she could be with him, she told herself that she did not care either what label people might put on her.
‘I understand…’ Lily focused with self-conscious care on the gorgeous rug on the floor. ‘That’s not a problem.’
Thrown by that unforeseen response, Rauf settled incredulous and startled golden eyes on her down-bent head. ‘It’s not?’
Emerging from her sybaritic vision of being Rauf’s mistress and lolling about like Cleopatra on imaginary satin couches, Lily came back down to earth with a bump the minute she thought about how her sister would react to that same label. Hilary would be outraged if Lily accepted that kind of role in Rauf’s life. But if that was all that was on offer, how would walking away from the guy she loved benefit her? With the conviction that she was abiding by the principles that she had already compromised but ultimately done the right thing? At that moment, that did not seem much of a consolation prize for surrendering the wonder of being with Rauf.
‘Actually, being a mistress is something I’d have to think over…very carefully,’ Lily admitted in a strained conclusion, cringing at an all-too-real image of Hilary coming all the way to Turkey just to give Rauf, who was not her favourite person, a piece of her mind.
‘Or we could go for the alternative option,’ Rauf countered, vibrant amusement brimming in his eyes before he veiled them in haste and reminded himself never, ever again to consider accepting Lily’s first answer to a thought-provoking question. ‘We could pay the price for being impulsive and indiscreet and just get married.’
Blue eyes widening to their fullest extent, Lily lifted her golden head and stared at him in thunderstruck amazement.
‘A choice we have to make right now, I’m afraid.’ Lean, powerful face taut, Rauf compressed his wide, passionate mouth. ‘My family could never accept a woman who has lived openly with me as my bride. I owe both them…and you more respect than I have so far shown.’
Slowly, Lily began breathing again. ‘You’re serious about this. But I can’t believe it. I can’t believe you’re suggesting that we marry just because we’ve…well, you know—’