And still she peppered him with accusations. ‘You paint wonderful pictures and hide them away—that’s one precious gift wasted. You’re an inspiration, a positive role-model for young people and a force for good—a second—’
Savannah gasped as Ethan thrust her through the entrance of the hay barn. Slamming the door shut, he shot the bolt. ‘This time I talk and you listen,’ he said. Bringing her in front of him, he held her firmly in place. ‘I live my life causing the least inconvenience I can to everyone around me.’
‘You mean you’re stuck in the past and won’t even glance into the future?’
‘I’m sure my business analysts might have something to say about that,’ he said with all the confidence of a hugely successful tycoon.
‘Your business analysts? And I bet they keep you warm at night.’
‘You don’t know me, so just leave this—’
‘I know enough about you to care.’
As her voice echoed in the lofty barn they both went still. Ethan’s eyes were so dark and reflected a truth so terrible Savannah almost wished she hadn’t brought him to this point. ‘What is it, Ethan?’ she said, reaching out to touch his face. ‘Who did this terrible thing to you?’ They both knew she wasn’t talking about his scars.
Ethan moved his head away.
‘And this time tell me,’ Savannah insisted gently. ‘Don’t insult me with some pallid version of the truth because you’ve decided I can’t take the facts. I can take anything for you—share everything with you—good and bad.’
Everything hung on this moment, Savannah realised, and yet all she could do now was wait.
After the longest moment, Et
han shrugged. ‘My stepfather beat me.’
She knew that.
‘When I grew too big for him to beat me, he paid others to do it for him.’
She knew that too. ‘Go on,’ she prompted softly.
‘There is no more to tell.’
No more Ethan wanted to tell, perhaps. ‘I don’t believe you.’ Her voice barely made it above a whisper, but he’d heard her.
Ethan stared over her head as the seconds ticked past, and then he revealed his innermost demon. ‘When I had recovered from the accident I visited my mother to try to heal things between us. Whatever had happened in the past, she was still my mother, and I had to believe she didn’t really understand what had been going on.’
As Ethan stopped speaking Savannah felt the pain of his disappointment so keenly she didn’t even need to hear the rest, but she knew she had to let him say it.
‘She had known,’ he said in a voice pitched low. ‘My mother had known all along. She knew all of it.’
What hurt Savannah the most was that she could still hear the surprise in Ethan’s voice. For a moment she found it impossible to speak or even breathe, and could only communicate the compassion she felt for him with her eyes.
‘She told me I got in the way…She said I was always in the way, and that she wished I had never been born. She said she never wanted to see me again, which I could understand, really.’
‘No!’ As Ethan made a dismissive gesture, Savannah caught hold of his hand and held it firmly. ‘No, Ethan, no; that’s not right. You must never think that. You did nothing wrong—not then, not as a child, not ever.’ She understood now why Ethan kept so much hidden. Having been betrayed by his own mother, how could he ever reveal his feelings to anyone again? He had to know she was here for him on any terms, Savannah determined, and that part of the bargain said she would be strong—even strong enough to let him go, if that was what Ethan really wanted.
But as he shifted position, and she saw his wounded face set in that distant mask, she knew she had to give their chance to be together one more try.
‘What better scheme than ours to bury those demons in your past once and for all? What greater triumph could you have, Ethan?’
Ethan remained silent for the longest moment, and then he murmured with a flicker of the old humour, ‘Our scheme?’
‘Why not our scheme?’
‘Because you seem to be doing pretty well on your own.’
‘But we can do so much more together.’ She waited for his answer, tense in every fibre of her being.