Once We Were Starlight

I suddenly had this strange sense of déjà vu. Haziq’s office flashed in my mind, the vision of me standing before him, while he sat at his desk. I’d thought myself weak, while Zakai had always been strong in front of him, tyrant that he was. But now Zakai stood behind me. I had forced him to let me do his bidding, and it was costing him. Internally I stumbled. But no, sometimes pride had to be sacrificed. This was a matter of sleeping in the cold . . . or at Giselle’s.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” my uncle went on. “But it’s just meant to be a temporary housing situation.” He looked at Zakai. “If you were taking advantage of the college admission you were gifted, it would be worth sacrificing some discomfort for a future where you could live anywhere you wanted to.”

“Thank you for the advice, sir,” Zakai said, and I cringed at the disdain in his tone. I shot him a warning look. Assist me here.

Claire stood up too, putting her hand on Braxton’s arm. “Braxton is right, Zakai. I’m sorry you don’t like the house you’re living in, but it has to be better than where you came from.”

Zakai gave her a cold smile. “Yes, there are levels of hell, are there not? I’m sure you’re familiar with none of them.”

Claire’s eyes narrowed.

“Zakai!” I said, giving a small laugh as though he might be joking when his expression told a conflicting story.

Braxton made a scoffing sound in the back of his throat. “Well in any case, you can’t stay here. It isn’t appropriate, and it’s not in Karys’s best interest. And my niece is my priority.”

“Understood,” Zakai said, beginning to turn.

“Wait!” I begged. “Please. There has to be a compromise here.”

“There is,” Braxton said. “I haven’t forbidden you to see him outside the house. He just may not visit here unsupervised, nor may he live here.”

“Forbidden me?” I said disbelievingly. “It’s not your job to forbid me to do anything. I’ll move out too. I’ll live on the streets with Zakai if I have to!”

“I will not let him drag you down with him,” Braxton grated.

“Karys,” Zakai warned, turning back toward me. “Your uncle’s right.” He came to me, putting his hands on the sides of my face and kissing me once on the forehead before turning and walking quickly toward the front door.

“Zakai, wait, no,” I said, following, the barest of affection he’d shown me making me feel desperate and bereft. I longed for so much more. I heard Braxton and Claire following too, but raced after him anyway, out the door, and down the stairs to the lobby. Before he got to the front door, he turned suddenly so that I almost bumped into him.

“Karys, go back inside.”

“No! I’m coming with you.”

“You most certainly are not,” Braxton insisted.

“Karys,” Claire said. “They’re both right. Come back inside. It’s getting late. Zakai can make his own decisions.”

“And here,” Braxton said, reaching in his pocket, and taking out his wallet. “I’ll pay for a hotel room for you for the night. You can try to get into a house more to your liking tomorrow.” He held out some cash to Zakai but Zakai didn’t take it and after a moment, Braxton stuck the money back in his wallet and returned it to his pocket.

“I won’t let you go into the night alone,” I said, gripping his arm. I remembered the night I’d been “sold” to Cody Rutland. I remembered Zakai’s unceasing yells, the way he’d suffered and been beaten for hours and hours on end. I remembered him rescuing me and pulling me into the desert, shielding my body with his. He’d been willing to die for me. He would never let me sleep on the street alone.

Zakai let out a quiet sigh. “All right, Karys. For you, I’ll go back to the house. I’ll sleep there tonight and see what can be done tomorrow about finding somewhere better.”

I let out a small hopeful gasp. “You will?”

“Yes, little star. I will.”

I nodded, relief like a cool drink of water flowing through my worry-drenched mind. “And you’ll be in class on Monday?”

“Okay. Yes.”

I blew out a slow breath. “Promise?”

He ran a thumb under my eye, wiping away a tear. “I promise.” He glanced behind me, his gaze fixed to the place I knew Claire stood. “Take care of her.”

“We will,” I heard Braxton say. “Take care of yourself. If you don’t, that’s on you. Don’t drag Karys down as well.”

Zakai’s gaze moved to Braxton and stayed trained on him for several beats before he looked at me once more, his eyes traveling over my features as though he was attempting to ingrain them in his mind. He walked backward for a few paces, his gaze still held to mine. I’d never seen that particular look on his face, and I didn’t know what it was. Without a word, he turned and walked away.