We used to travel a lot when he wasn’t deployed and then of course after….after I was taken, there was no traveling any further than the other houses in the neighborhood where the kids that were held there were suffering the same fate as I. It felt almost sacrilegious to have those thoughts while holding hands with the kid who had yet to let me go.
We came to a door that was slightly open, and she eased it open further and walked in. “Lily!” She hiss whispered at the lump on the bed. Another little girl rolled over and rubbed at her eyes before they popped open. “Did Nia call already?” She sat up when she saw me and looked from the friend to me. “Is she here?”
“No, this is, I didn’t remember to ask your name. She’s uncle Jason’s.” I wish she would stop saying that. For some reason, when she says it, it seems so real.
“My name is Roxana; you can call me Roxy for short if you’d like.” She beamed up at me, and I found myself being thankful that there were no shadows in her eyes. I’d learned to see the signs a long time ago. Neither of them had ever suffered the fate that seemed worst than death to an innocent.
“She’s not Nia’s mom?”
“Who is this, Nia?”
“She’s our Asian friend; you look a lot like her; she’s pretty too. Come on Lily; we have lots to do, remember?” Lily nodded her head and got down off the bed, and the two of them headed towards a door on the other side of the room.
‘Wait right here; we’re going to the bathroom to get cleaned up.” They looked like two overgrown dolls, so pretty, one with dark curly hair and the other with almost brown ringlets that still held hints of the blonde they once were. It was obvious that they were young even though they seemed small for their age, but both of them had an air about them that I don’t remember having when I was that age.
“How old are you, kid?” I addressed Catalina.
“Eight, and so is Lily and Nia; we’re the same, aren’t we Lily Anna?” Lily nodded her head, and they headed for what I now guessed was the bathroom.
“Hey kid, do you know where Cierra is?” She stopped and looked back at me, and I could swear she was studying me.
“Oh, so you’re her. I should’ve guessed. Come on, Lily Anna, we have to hurry.” She whispered something to her little friend, and the two of them looked back at me before heading into the bathroom and closing the door.
‘I’ll be right back, kid, I gotta go get cleaned up myself.” I shouted at the closed door and turned to head back the way I came.
The truth is the two of them were spooking me more than the roomful of men had. What did she mean, ‘so you’re her?’ Her who? What had she heard? I was tempted to question her further but thought better of it. No one had said anything about me getting close to the kids as yet, but it was only a matter of time. Especially when the women make an appearance, I can’t wait to see how that goes.
Not that I care. I stopped caring what others thought of me a long time ago. I’m just here to see with my own two eyes, and then I’m out. Crap, I need to call my uncle before he starts to worry.
JASON
What the hell is wrong with me? I kept looking down the hallway, where Roxana had disappeared with the kid. I’ve been out of sorts ever since she left me last night to go sleep in the damn weapon’s room. I haven’t slept a wink, and I’m pissed way the hell off. That’s where the confusion comes in.
It’s not like I expected her to jump into bed with me. I just needed her close, to stay where I can see her. I’d slept outside her door all night, only leaving for my room when I heard the women stirring earlier and not wanting anyone to see me in my fallen state. That’s how I felt. Like she’d brought me low in just one night. And now the way my brother is looking at me, as if he’s never seen me before, I know I’ve fucked up.
Of everyone who knows me, he knows better than most why I don’t deserve happily ever after. He knows me inside and out, all my failures and shortcomings, and that’s why I can’t stand to look him in the eye now. I felt shame and hurt and anger at my past and wanted to pound my fists into something. “Hey, what’s going on with you?” Gideon stepped to me when the others moved away to do their own thing.