The Squad

With my mind made up, I went in search of help. It was time for me to get out of here, anyway. This cushy life that these other women with their overprotective husbands and bushel of kids have is not for me. I lost the right to have such things the first moment I was violated, and worse, the moment I became what I am now—a tainted rag with blood on my hands.

Roxy

I felt a little sick at what I was about to do, which in itself is saying a lot, but it had to be done. There’s no way I’ll ever fit in here, and the sooner they learn that, the better, especially Jason. I’m not one of them and never will be. There are kids here, and I’m sure if they knew half of what my life was like, they wouldn’t want me around their precious children; I know I wouldn’t.

I’ve seen and done too much ever to hope to fit into polite society. So even though I felt close to tears at the thought of what might’ve been had my life not been derailed, I still carried through. First, I found the two teenage boys I’d seen hanging around, checking me out as any hormonal teenager would. I wasn’t feeling brave enough to approach one of the husbands directly. That felt like too much of a betrayal.

Still, I sent the boys away after they gave me what I wanted, though, in the back of my mind, I was pretty sure they’d hang around somehow. That couldn’t be helped and may even help with my cause. I waited, giving them enough time to be gone from here, here being the massive home gym with every amenity I could think of.

I thought the monsters who’d taken me were rich, but these people somehow make them look like paupers—another reason why I can’t stay. I’ve learned a healthy distrust for anyone with money over the years. I’ve seen firsthand what wealth and high positions can hide and what atrocities people with money can get away with.

I started out slow for my warm-up, wishing I had something more suitable for the job, but the black leggings and oversized tee-shirt tied at my middle will have to do for now. I’d tied the shirt high enough that a good portion of my middle was on full display, and the leggings hugged my hips and ass perfectly.

As the first song came to an end, my heart started to race in my chest because I knew what was coming, and even though I knew I had to do it, I felt like I was losing something in the process. Something that I dare not give myself a chance to want. Part of me wishes I could let go and believe in the smiles and promises I see written on the faces of the men and women I’ve met here.

And Jason! Other than Uncle Mike, I think he’s the first person in a long while who’s treated me with kindness without expecting anything in return. In fact, he seemed to want to give me more than I deserve.

I don’t know how I know, but I sense deep down inside that he’s not like the other men who’d used and hurt me. For some reason, I don’t feel the need to put my guard up when I’m around him, which is part of the reason why I must do this.

He deserves better than spoiled goods. At least from what I’ve seen of him thus far. Nothing can ever come from giving in to what it is he thinks he can have with me. Maybe he thinks he can save me, but I’m a long way from there. That ship sailed eons ago.

I shored myself up and got ready to burn another bridge, ignoring and pushing aside any last-minute doubts I had. I could hear and sense the others gathering in the gallery above that looked down into the room but pretended not to. I knew the song would draw them.

It’s that attention-grabbing, and that’s just what I want, attention. I had to shut off all of my senses and concentrate so that I could get through the next two and a half minutes—such a little bit of time to cause so much destruction. I fought back tears as my body made the first gyration, my sole focus on putting on the best show.

JASON

I heard the strains of Cardi Bi’s WAP coming through the speaker system as I made my way to the gym. I’d been on my way there when Gideon stopped me to question me about my feelings for Roxana. I gave him the bare bones because I was in a hurry to get to her since she’d made a point of telling me where she was headed. Plus, I wanted to see her in training since I’m sure she keeps up with that to keep her fighting skills as sharp as they are.