In his eyes, I saw sadness and understanding and realized that I didn’t know how to deal with that. From eight to eighteen, I lived in terror, and then for the last five years, I’ve lived a life of solitude, keeping myself away from everyone except my uncle.
I didn’t interact with anyone and damn sure never let anyone get this close. I’ve been in survival mode ever since I made my escape. There was no room in my life for any of this, I never expected it, but if I’m honest, I can’t deny that I’m tempted, so tempted to reach out and take. But…
JASON
I saw the confusion in her eyes and doubt that she knows how well I can see into her. It’s not fair I’m sure, to use my senses to read her, but it’s all I have until she opens up and lets me in. She has no idea how desperate her actions were and how much she’s breaking my heart.
I want to cry for her, but I know that showing any sign of weakness in front of her will only get her back up. I can’t show her how much my heart bleeds for her and the lengths she’s willing to go to because she doesn’t believe that she deserves better than the life she’s had. One day, sweet Roxana, one day, I will prove to you that you deserve all the good that this life has to offer.
Instead of giving her the words of comfort that burned a hole in my tongue, I pulled her in and kissed her forehead. I closed my eyes as her scent hit me in the gut and hoped like hell that she didn’t look down between us and see the hard-on I was now sporting.
It’s funny; the sexy dance didn’t do it for me. I was too busy worrying about the others seeing her like that. But her soft vulnerability was a direct shot to my heart and dick. I want so much to wrap her up in my arms and take her up against the wall, sweat and all. But knowing her and the mood she’s in, she’d see it as just another man taking from her.
I had an idea as the thought flitted through my head. Two can play at this game. I’ve been telling myself that it’s too soon that she needs time to get used to me wanting her. But the fact that she’d tried to pull this stunt tells me that she’s already feeling the pressure. Why else would she try to piss me off?
So no, the objective is not to hide my need from her, but to show her that I can want her and still respect her enough to wait. It was a gamble, but one I was willing to take. With that thought in mind, I moved in closer until there was no doubt that she could feel the hardness of my rod between her thighs. The thin material of her leggings was no real barrier, so I knew she felt it all—length, thickness, girth.
I waited for her to pull back, to rail at me, and I saw in her eyes when they opened on mine as I looked down at her wordlessly that her first thought was that I was just like all the others. But the longer she looked into my eyes, seeing all that I wanted her to see there, that look of grim satisfaction turned once again to confusion.
“Do you get it? I want you, not for any reason other than that you’re beautiful, sexy, and mine. But I can wait until you’re ready. Your past has nothing to do with me wanting you. I do not see your past when I look at you, and I for damn sure don’t hold you responsible for any of it. You’re not an object, baby. You’re a sweet, desirable woman who deserves the best, just like all the other women here on this island.”
I didn’t say it out loud, but inside I was begging her to believe me. I know it’s stupid to try to erase almost fifteen years of hell with a few words and actions. I keep forgetting that we’d only just met and that I need to give her time. But knowing that she is my mate is making that shit damn near impossible.
“Come on, let’s go clean you up, and then we’ve got some work to do.”
“What work?”
“You’ll see.” I’d given it some thought and came to the conclusion that if she wasn’t ready or willing to give up the name of the town where she’d been held, then the next best thing was to get her to work with me. I haven’t run the idea by Mancini as yet and thought that while she showered was as good a time as any.