It was the quickest minute in history.
“You can’t stop now. We have to get going; those people are still in these woods trying to find us,” Tito rushed out. “You can’t go back to him, Cali. I know you’re aware of who he is. I refuse to believe you’re as fucked up as him.”
The only words that rang with clarity through my foggy brain were you can’t. He didn’t ask me; he was telling me.
Everyone was always telling me what I was going to do, never asking what I wanted to do. I lifted my head and tilted it to the side, studying the man who was now talking down to me and trying to make me feel ashamed for being the way I was.
I never thought he’d judge me like this—screwing his enemy aside. It helped bring a few things into perspective. In the early beginning, I said I would do whatever the fuck I wanted to do, but that wasn’t true, was it?
I chose to keep Tito’s best interests in mind, and Romero’s, too. I struggled to find a balance between fully giving in to a man who made me relish in sin without damning the other.
I could be a truly fucked up person. Okay, I’ll own it, I was a fucked up person, but I never wanted my loyalty questioned.
Look where that had gotten me. Look where the hell I was. I think it was time for me to be selfish and take control of my life.
I was well acquainted with the demon that lived inside my head, and if I stopped waging war against her, that sick bitch would ensure I got everything I wanted, and everything I deserved.
Tito stopped pacing when he finally realized I wasn’t paying attention to a word he was saying.
“You’re not even listening.”
I stood from the ground so fast he was still looking at the spot my ass had been when I stepped up to him and placed two fingers on his lips.
“What––”
“Shhh,” I hushed him. “You’re done talking. It’s my turn now.” Keeping my digits pressed to his mouth, I continued. “I don’t think you understand just how unlike you I am.
I want you to forget that girl you thought you knew. She doesn’t exist. She never did. I’m not a good person. I’m as unholy as they come, and your opinion of me is not going to make me change who I am.” Dropping my hand, I took a step back, holding his gaze.
He stared back at me, and I could see the silent questions burning in his eyes. When did I get so cold? What happened to my soul? That was proof enough for me that he had no idea who he’d let live under the same roof as him.
The gullible fool tried to use me as the key player in a game he never had a chance of winning. Unfortunately for him, I was done being anyone’s pawn the day he found me. I refused to be a goddamn stepping stone.
After giving him one last unimpressed look, I turned around and walked away. His hoarse voice called after me; I ignored it. I was so over judgmental, hypocritical assholes.
Our world had gone mad long ago.
We lived in a perpetual hell that was only going to get worse as time went on. Survival meant you were a hunter, or you were prey.
There was no reason for me to keep playing a role anymore. Fuck my morality, and fuck what anyone thought about me.
I would find a way to get to David, and when I did, I would rip his heart out of his goddamn chest so I could feel its final beat in my hands.
I would lay his faux holy delegates out in shallow graves after I cut their throats and watched them choke on their own blood.
I would bring the devil to his knees and put that silver tongue of his to work between my thighs. If I was meant to be a queen, then it was time to wear the fucking crown.
CHAPTER SIX
My first course of action was to find somewhere to sleep and something edible to fill my neglected stomach.
I’d originally tried finding my way back to where Romero had been, but thanks to Tito’s zigzag pattern, I wasn’t sure which way that was exactly. The smoke was no longer visible in the sky, so I just walked and hoped for the best.
As the sun got lower and darkness took over, the woodland creatures began to shift about and the temperature dropped.
I got lucky after I made my way up a small embankment, using the moon as my nightlight.
I paused, taking in the square structure in front of me. It was such a random place to build a house, but despite the fact it was smack dab in the middle of a small clearing of trees, the old home had managed to withstand the elements.