He’s the one I need protecting from, though. He’s the natural disaster that wrecks me every time he gets too close.
Pushing his fingers into my hair, he cradles my scalp to keep my face pressed against him. Then he kisses the top of my head and says fiercely, “You belong wherever I am, Riley.”
I shake my head. “No, I don’t.”
His grip on my hair eases ever so slightly. He reconsiders, then says, “Then maybe I belong wherever you are.”
I don’t know what he’s thinking, but I don’t care, either. I’m tapped. All I want to do is go home and crawl into bed for a few hours before I have to go to work.
Pulling out of his embrace, I sniffle and tell him, “I have to go.”
“Riley,” he calls out as I turn to head toward my house.
I stop, but I don’t look back.
“Just… stay away from Sherlock, all right? I’ve known the guy for a long time, it’s easy to get caught up with him. Don’t do something you’ll regret just because you’re mad at me.”
If only he had taken his own advice, we wouldn’t be here right now.
I’m not going to make him any more promises, though.
Without a word to acknowledge he said anything, I slide my bag on my shoulder and take off down the path toward my house.
Chapter Fifty Three
Hunter
After a long, miserable fucking morning, I leave the footbridge and head home.
The wheels in my head are turning the whole way there. They don’t stop once I get there, either. I know what I have to do, I just need to make sure Sherlock stays away from Riley while I figure out how to do it.
He’s not fucking right for her, but he is a hell of a distraction.
I don’t want our relationship to take any more damage than it already has, but that picture of them today just about killed me. If Sherlock touches her, I’ll lose my fucking mind.
I won’t love her any less. I certainly won’t want her any fucking less. But I will lose my goddamn mind.
I’ll tear him apart, and with Riley between us, I know she’ll get hit with the shrapnel. She already did that night at the party, and that wasn’t an all-out war, it was just a jolt to my fucking system.
I don’t want to hurt Riley any more. I’ve hurt her enough for a couple of lifetimes. I’ve done more damage than I even intended.
I know I have my work cut out for me, but I’m not afraid of the work.
I think the problem is I’ve been trying so hard to bring Riley into my world, it didn’t occur to me that I could just invade hers. She’s comfortable there. It’s where she likes to be. I haven’t spent much time in her world, but I know she doesn’t like mine, so maybe I’m the one that needs to relocate.
Every time I’ve made progress with Riley, it’s because I marched on her world.
Every time I’ve lost her a little, it’s because I tried dragging her into mine.
It’s all so clear now, I don’t know how I didn’t see it before.
Since I’m not going back to school today, I head upstairs to do some research that actually matters.
I have practice tonight, but since I skipped school, I might blow it off. Actually, I might blow it off permanently. Fuck it. I don’t care about football, and the less I see Sherlock, the better right now.
Without football taking up so much of my time, I could also rejoin the paper and spend that time with Riley. I didn’t really quit because I couldn’t juggle both activities, I just wanted to forget Riley, so I needed to stop being around her more than I absolutely had to be. It was a dumb fucking idea to begin with, fated to fail.
Riley’s mine, whether she wants to admit it to herself or not. She’s always going to be, and no one is going to stand in my way—not even her.
I’ve put her through too much, though.
I need to reroute and make things easier on her.
When the doorbell rings a couple of hours later, I consider pretending I’m not home. I wasn’t expecting anyone and I don’t want to be interrupted right now, but on the off chance it’s Riley, I go downstairs anyway.
When I open the door, it’s not Riley standing on the other side.
It’s her mother.
That… was not what I expected.
I do not know how the fuck to proceed.
“Hi,” I say uncertainly.
“Hi.” She tries for cordial, but her greeting is tense.
I’m not surprised. She may have told Riley she’d give me a chance, but I know Michelle still has reservations about me. I get it. She’s protective of Riley and isn’t convinced I won’t hurt her. I don’t take it personally, but it does make me wonder what the hell she’s doing at my house.