Was I truly going to consider what Niall had suggested? Could I trust Ezra? Surely even in the most twisted game, no one would have been able to predict that I’d get to know him and want to hire him. He’d only been in Boston since the start of summer when he’d moved in with his aunt after deciding not to return to college for his senior year. He was Cathy’s nephew, and I trusted her. She even knew some of my secrets.
Unless I had it all wrong, and she was working for Swain too.
No. I couldn’t be that off my game, and if Cathy or Ezra had been assigned to watch me, my former receptionist would’ve squealed on them. He’d been willing to tell me everything he knew in his last moments. He’d have given up anyone for even the tiniest chance I would let him live. Too bad for him, that chance had never existed.
Did I dare offer Ezra the job? Could I resist temptation if I did? I’d tried to fight it, but I’d finally given into letting myself fantasize about him—his lean body, his dark hair, his bright blue eyes, and his sinfully plump lips—as I jerked off. The thought of those lips wrapped around my cock…
I needed to stop imagining that. I wasn’t right for Ezra. He seemed so lost sometimes. He needed someone to take care of him and protect him. From what Cathy had told me, his parents didn’t understand unconditional love, and he deserved all of it he could get. I could protect him from danger, but I couldn’t give him the kind of tenderness he deserved. I fucked men. I didn’t fall in love with them.
The CIA had taught me to hide myself, to never let my feelings get involved. I’d learned those lessons too well to be any good for a man like Ezra. He deserved the whole package, someone dedicated just to him.
Even if I did want a relationship, I was considering hiring Ezra, and I didn’t fuck my employees. I’d learned the hard way what a disaster that could be.
In the CIA, I’d survived plenty of missions that were a thousand times harder than resisting the lure of a sweet, adorable twink. And yet, I wasn’t sure my self-control was up to the challenge. Every time I saw Ezra, I wanted to wrap him in my arms and keep him from ever being hurt.
If he were mine, I’d make sure he never got so much as a paper cut. The problem was, I would likely be the one to hurt him by breaking his heart.
On the other hand, I was already tempted by him, maybe hiring him would actually be a good thing. As my employee, he’d be completely off-limits.
I ran a hand over my short hair and sighed. It was almost time for my first appointment. I’d have to think it over later.
When I had a break that evening, I slipped across the street to talk to Cathy. I wasn’t going to poach Ezra from her without making sure she wouldn’t be left in a tight spot.
The café didn’t serve dinner, so it was already closed. I knew Cathy’s habits, though. She would still be there working on prep for tomorrow’s offerings. I slipped into the alley between the café and the jewelry store next door and knocked on the employee entrance. “It’s Leo.”
Cathy opened the door a moment later. She’d wrapped a towel around the knob because her hands were covered in cherry juice. “Did you come by to see what we had left over today?”
I grinned. She often offered me and the other artists at Devilish Ink leftover pastries that she couldn’t sell the next day. “I won’t turn down any offerings, but I actually came to talk to you about Ezra.”
She blew out a long breath and returned her focus to the cherries she was pitting. “He really is trying his best. I know—”
I held up my hand. “I’m not here to complain. I want to hire him.”
She looked up from her cutting board. “You want to do what?”
“I want to hire him… as my new receptionist. I think he’d probably be better at that than he is at being a waiter. There’s nothing to spill, and he’ll be behind the desk, so there shouldn’t be much to trip over.”
Cathy smiled. “I suppose that’s true.”
“I wanted to check with you before I made him an offer. Would you be in trouble without his help?”
She shook her head. “We’ve had a few applicants this week that look promising. I’ll be fine.”
“So I have your blessing?”
She gave me a pointed look. “You have my blessing to hire him to work for you, but not for anything else.”
“He’ll be my employee, so he’ll be off-limits.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Just like Lorenzo?”