She shifted back, watching his face as that flash of kiss-me-now tenderness slipped away, replaced by his laughter.
“Beautiful, I’ve never been so damn happy to hear those words.”
Chapter 14
LENA CLIMBED INTO the truck first, sliding across the bench and claiming the middle seat. “Hero can have the window.”
Chad held the driver’s door open, one foot on the gate, prepared to climb up. “You’re sure about this?”
She nodded. “I’ll roll the window down for him. I think he’ll like having the wind in his face.”
“Yeah, not what I meant.” Chad settled into the driver’s seat, securing his belt as he turned the key. They were on the main road, stopped at a red light, when she placed her hand on his thigh, and felt the muscles beneath his jeans tense.
“Lena,” he said, his voice filled with warning as the signal turned green and he pressed on the gas.
“You’re speeding.”
“I’m not going to lie.” He accelerated through a yellow light. “I’m a little anxious.”
“Me too.”
He turned down the driveway, raced past the farmhouse, and parked at an angle that would probably leave his siblings wondering if he’d come home drunk or too desperate to care. She knew he was stone-cold sober, so that left her with desperate—for her.
“We don’t have to do this, Lena.” He kept his gaze straight ahead. “You have nothing to prove to me.”
“No, I don’t. But I have a lot to prove to myself,” she said. “I stayed locked in my home, away from everyone, for a long time. I was scared anything and everything would lead to a panic attack. But now, most of the time, I’m fine.”
She drew a deep breath, knowing there was more she needed to say. “I might fall apart tonight. The panic might win. This is new ground for me. At least since I’ve been back. And if that scares you, or turns you off, Chad, you need to tell me.”
“Move your hand, Lena,” he said. “Up my leg.”
She obeyed, drawing her fingers up his jean-clad thigh until they brushed the hard length pressing against his jeans.
He turned, his brown eyes staring into hers. “Lena, I’m dying to follow you up those stairs and into your bed. Whatever happens after that . . . it doesn’t frighten me. It just means tonight is not our night. It won’t keep me from looking forward to tomorrow, or the day after that, or the week after that. I’m not going to let you down, Lena. And I’m not going to run away.”
His mouth formed a straight line, not a hint of a smile, as he waited for her to say something. This wasn’t Chad the Charmer, using his words to send her tumbling headfirst into lust-now-think-later territory. He meant what he said. The way he looked at her—it was as if he believed in her. And he wouldn’t stop if she felt apart tonight.
Of all the people in her life, how had this man become the one who believed she could crawl her way back from every attack, every setback? How had Chad Summers found the words she’d wanted to hear for so long?
“Lena? You still with me?” His tone bordered on light and teasing. “Or should I start daydreaming about tomorrow night?”
“You mean that, don’t you? You’ll wait if I step out of this truck, freak out, and end up on my back in the dirt with Hero lying on top me?”
He took her hand, slowly and gently moving it away from his erection. Interlacing his fingers with hers, he smiled at her, soft and sweet. “Lena, do you know what I see when I look at you? I see a warrior. Even if you’re lying on the ground beneath your dog, you’re still a fighter.”
“A warrior?” she repeated, turning the word over in her mind. She was proud of her strength and perseverance. But a warrior? “That doesn’t sound sexy.”
“You’re a beautiful woman, Lena. But you’re so much more than that.” He reached out and tugged on a stray strand of hair that had fallen in her face. “I want to be the one who takes you to bed. It’s not only about our deal, Lena. Not anymore. I meant what I wrote on that note. I want my name on your lips when you come. Again and again. And yeah, that is something I’m willing to wait for.”
“Once you have me there, in bed,” she murmured, a rush of desire thrusting all other thoughts aside, “what do you plan to do with me?”
“Surprise.” His signature smile returned. “Lead the way upstairs and you’ll find out.”
Raising an eyebrow, she reached across Hero and opened the door. Her dog jumped down first and she followed, leaving her bag with her revolver in the truck. She headed straight for the apartment before her courage failed her. But even if she lost it, her serene calm derailed by the feel of his body against her, hovering over her . . .
She froze, the key in the knob. Not over her. She didn’t want him on top. Tonight, she wanted to the call the shots. She wanted to reclaim this part of her life. She wanted to claim him.
Unlocking the door, she led the way up to the bedroom, turning on the overhead light as she entered. She grabbed a reluctant Hero by the collar and led him to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.