He reached for the condom. “We need to get this on now, or this will end before we get started,” he added, his tone transitioning to light and teasing. But she could still hear the thread of need.
I miss you. I want you. I love you?
She hoped it was all there between them as she climbed up on the bed and straddled his hips. Replacing his hand with hers, she sank down onto his hard length. His gaze shifted to her breasts and he leaned forward, capturing one pert nipple between his lips. He put his six-pack to work, his hand gliding over her back as she stared to move. She ground her hips against him and he let her take what she needed for a minute, maybe two, before he fought for control—and won.
This is the best kind of defeat.
But this time, as he pumped up into her, claiming control despite the fact that she was riding him—this time, she bit back the words “I love you.” She knew it in her heart. But she refused to send him running for the door. She was willing to risk heartbreak, but she wasn’t going to search it out today.
Maybe tomorrow. And when she did take that leap, she held tight to the hope he’d offer her the same words.
NOAH GROUND HIS teeth together and fought for control. There was so much they hadn’t said to each other, things he need to ask, and more that he needed to tell her. Was she pregnant? When would she know? Because hell, he still wanted a reason to keep her close, to make her his.
But I should be pushing her away. What if I can’t keep her safe? Dustin’s still out there, always one fucking step ahead of me.
He lay back on her twin bed, his feet still planted on the floor. His head touched the wall behind him. The bed was so narrow. But he didn’t give a damn. Not while he had his hands around Josie’s hips, lifting and lowering her onto himself. He watched the full length of his dick disappear from view and felt her rub against him. He was tempted to reach between them and tease her, knowing it would give her the release she’d sought from her toy penis.
But he was a selfish ass. He wanted to draw this out. He wanted her here with him when he was pretty damn certain he should walk out the door and demand that she keep clear of him, Caroline, and the kittens in his barn, until he knew it was safe. Until he’d eliminated the threat of shots being fired . . .
“More, Noah,” she demanded, arching her back. She raised her hands to her breasts and held them as she fought to ride him harder and faster . . .
“Josie,” he murmured. He couldn’t hold back. He was too close. The sight of her like this, riding him, taking everything he had to give . . . she blew the fantasies he’d carried with him for so damn long, to that hell in the desert and back, so far away . . .
“Tell me you’re close,” he demanded. “Because I can’t—”
“Now,” she moaned, her body shivering and convulsing above him. She stared down at him and he swore he saw her heart right there in her eyes silently offering the same words she’d given him five years ago—I love you.
He came hard and fast, closing his eyes to the rush of emotions. He shouldn’t be here. He couldn’t take her heart and promise to keep it safe. But he might walk away wi
th it anyway.
Yeah, that made him a selfish jerk. Because soon, he might be forced to push her away. And it would break her heart.
Chapter Twenty-One
JOSIE HAD INSISTED on working last night in spite of her jet lag. She needed the cash. And she didn’t want to be alone with her thoughts and the reality she’d been ignoring for the past few days.
She had to find a way to tell Noah how she felt. But that wasn’t the only big reveal she had in store for the man who looked like he was already pushed to the limits.
The situation with Caroline was draining him. She could tell that he hated the waiting. He wanted to find Dustin first. But without going to the police—and after witnessing Big Buck’s dishwasher’s paranoia last night, Josie knew that wasn’t going to happen—Noah didn’t have much choice. Between his “strays” and the bar, Noah had been pushed to the edge.
Josie walked into The Lost Kitten’s Toy Chest, inhaled the familiar scent of coffee and turned around. She’d made it to the parking area feeling as if she might lose her breakfast. She placed her hands on her thighs and bent over.
But she knew this feeling. The worst never happened, just loomed nearby, presenting a constant possibility.
“The toy chest inspires too many naughty thoughts first thing in the morning, huh?” Daphne said, moving to her side and running her hand over her back.
Josie braved an upright position and glanced at her friend. “It was the coffee, not the naughty nurse costumes and whips.”
Her best friend’s smile faded and her eyes widened. “Does that mean you’re—”
“I’m pregnant.” She doubled over again, wrapped her arms around her middle. But this time it wasn’t nausea. Fear churned in her belly. How had she ended up here?
“Noah?” Daphne asked softly.
She nodded, but didn’t stand upright. She wasn’t ready. Not yet. “It’s still early. Only four weeks. But I know.”
“You took a test?”