Command Control

“Logan?”

He looked up. She wasn’t smiling and there was no laughter in her green eyes, but she didn’t look sad.

“Do you have children?” she asked.

“No.” That was the short answer. The long one—he wasn’t interested in going down that road right now.

“That’s good. I lost my mom when I was a baby. And...it’s hard to raise kids on your own.”

“Yeah,” he said. “It would be. Especially with my job.”

“Can I ask you something else?”

He nodded.

“Are you ready to move forward?” Her tone was quiet and gentle, but not there was no trace of “oh, you poor, poor man.” She wasn’t making assumptions, he realized. She wanted honest answers.

“I need to,” he said.

“You didn’t answer my question. I’ve never met someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I can imagine almost anything, but I can’t imagine how it feels to lose that person so completely. Or how you feel.”

Logan leaned his head back and closed his eyes. Everyone from his aunt to his teammates had offered pity and condolences. They wanted to know how he was doing, how he was coping with his grief. But no one had asked him how he felt. They’d all assumed they knew.

“For the first few months, it was like being submerged in water. At first, I wanted to sink to the bottom and drown.” He opened his eyes and looked at her. “After a while, I started fighting to reach the surface. The grief still hits me. Hard sometimes. And often I feel so damn alone. But I don’t want loneliness and grief to be the only things I feel anymore. Haven’t wanted that for a while.”

Sadie nodded. “So where are you now? Swimming to shore?”

Sitting here with her, he was so close to the shore he could practically touch it. “Something like that.”

“And you’re ready to look forward, not back?”

“Honestly? I’m not sure,” he said. “I’d like to find out.”

“Okay, then.” Sadie slid off the rock, taking the empty lunch bags with her. “How about we finish fixing that fence and then head over to my place for a beer?”

“Sounds good.” He looked into her eyes. They sparkled with anticipation and acceptance, no sign of pity. He hadn’t lost her. Christ, he wanted to wrap his arms around her just for that gift. But not here. He’d wait until after they finished the fence before he took her in his arms and claimed that kiss. He wouldn’t think twice. Not this time.

* * *

HOURS LATER, SADIE climbed the steps to Lou’s guesthouse with Logan at her side. She had spent the better part of the afternoon destroying three lengths of wire before giving up and letting Logan fix the fence. Wire cutters were not her friend. Watching him work had given her time to admire the view—there was something dead sexy about a strong man bending steel wire with his bare hands—and think about what he’d told her.

Mr. Ruggedly Handsome had lost the love of his life. He hadn’t put it quite like that but of course he’d loved her. A man didn’t think about drowning in grief over a woman who didn’t own his heart.

When he’d first said that word—widower—she’d mentally moved him out of the vacation-fling category. Too much baggage.

But the way he’d look at her, as if he expected her to turn tail and run, made her reconsider. He might not be ready to fall in love again, but a fling? Two failed attempts to kiss her said no, he wasn’t ready to act on the sexual tension threatening to ignite every time they were together. But the more time she spent with him, talking to him, the more she suspected he’d held back because he needed her to know his story before they moved forward. Their relationship might have a definite end date, but she sensed that he wanted her to get to know him a little.

As far as her requirements for hopping into bed with a guy? The fact that he’d told her about losing his wife put him squarely in the good-heart category. And he’d proved in the bookstore he had a sense of humor.

Maybe they were perfect for each other. Neither one of them was relationship material. She could barely balance her career and her family. And he wasn’t ready to put his heart out there again. That sounded perfect to her. But there was only one way to find out for sure.

Sadie paused, her hand on the front door to the guesthouse. He stopped behind her, so close she could hear him breathing.

“If you’re having second thoughts, I can go,” Logan said quietly.

She turned to him, pressing her back up against the door. “Is that what you want?”

“No.”