Command Control

Sadie rested her hand on his arm. There was something wild and hot burning between them, but this touch? It was pure comfort.

“Logan, you can trust me.”

He closed his eyes, and for a moment, Sadie feared he wasn’t going to say another word.

“We were on a rescue mission.” Logan opened his eyes and stared down at the festival. “During the extraction, we came under fire. I was covering Hunter, one of my teammates, but then...”

His hand tightened around his empty beer cup, breaking the plastic. Was he back there? Sadie wondered. Reliving the mission? What if his grief for his late wife wasn’t his only baggage? What if Logan suffered from PTSD?

“I got distracted,” he continued, forcing her to listen to his words, instead of letting her imagination run wild with what-if scenarios. “And Hunter got shot in the shoulder.”

“Oh, no. Logan. I’m so sorry. Did he make it?”

He nodded. “He’s fine. On a mission right now in New York to keep my mistake out of the press. Some professor wants to write a book about what we did. He took a bullet because I didn’t have my head on straight, and now he is having to clean up the mess, too, while I sit up here and wait.”

“You want to go back.” It wasn’t a question. She hadn’t known him long, but she knew he was a soldier through and through.

“Yeah. But I can’t. Not yet. I’ve been ordered to stay here and keep a low profile. That means no reporters. Not even kids writing for school papers. No questions and nothing in print. If I can do that, I can go back to serving my country.”

A familiar sensation washed over Sadie. Guilt. It was as if she smuggled that sinking feeling into every single one of her relationships. If she launched the who-is-MJ-Lane media circus that she needed to secure her movie deal, reporters would start digging. There was always the chance they would find her here. If they found her with Logan, they might identify him and ask questions about why he was on leave. They could find out about his mistake. Based on what he was telling her, if that happened, she could damage his chances of returning to the job he loved.

If someone did that to her...

Sadie pushed the thought away. Right now no one knew. And a half-dozen ifs stood between her connection to Logan and the possibility that the media would delve into Logan’s missions. By the time she went on national television, their fling would be over. She would be back in New York and he would be God knows where doing the job he loved.

And she would make certain no one ever linked him to her. Ever.

“That explains your dread of reporters,” she said, forcing a light, playful tone. “But not your fear of little kids. Are you worried her mother will report you for feeding her daughter ice cream for lunch?”

“Charlotte thinks I’m a hero,” he said quietly. “Like her dad who died last year in Afghanistan. I think she wants to know what it is like over there. She wants to feel closer to her father. She saw that sign for ‘lunch with a hero’ and her ten-year-old mind thought I could give her answers. But I can’t. Looking at her face, I felt like a goddamn fake.”

The combination of his harsh words and the way his hands had balled into fists sent a clear message—stay back. But Sadie couldn’t. This man was hurting on so many levels it made her head spin. Yes, this was only a fling. They were two people who wanted a few nights, maybe more, of sex—although life kept interfering with the getting-naked part—but that didn’t mean she couldn’t help him when he needed it most.

“Look at me,” she demanded.

Logan turned to her.

“Every person who wears that uniform is a hero. But you’re not gods. You’re still human and you make mistakes. At some point you need to forgive yourself.”

“Sadie, you don’t understand.”

“What you went through? No, I don’t. But I understand Charlotte. That little girl’s father was her hero from the day she was born. Serving his country, rescuing his fellow soldiers and giving his life—that just made the rest of the world see what that little girl already knew.

“But that doesn’t mean she understood him or the choices he made,” she continued. “She might spend years trying to figure that out.”

Sadie watched the people below. Once again, she’d revealed more than she’d intended, more than she’d shared with any of her boyfriends.

“Sadie.” He reached out and brushed a few strands of hair away from her face, his touch light as a feather. “Come here.”

He drew her in, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close. She nestled against his chest, allowing him to hold her while her mind drifted.

Her relationship with her father was complicated. Deep down, she worshipped her dad. He’d done so much, given so much love. But now that the tables were turned and she wanted to help him, he pushed her away. She wondered if she spent more time with him, would that ease the tension? But finding the time while working proved a challenge. It was as if she was searching for a balance she could never quite attain.

Involving Logan in their troubled relationship was not an option. Not right now. He had enough weighing on him.

She lifted her head, raising her hands to his chest, slowly putting some distance between them. “Feel ready for your ice cream

date after that little pep talk?”