Command Control

Sadie pulled out one of the wooden chairs and sat. “Thank you. You’re right, I do need this.”

“Look on the bright side,” Laurel said. “At least we now have proof your sex life is more exciting than mine.”

Sadie dug into the pie. “If that’s the bright side, I’m screwed.”

“What did Logan say?”

“He asked if I’d set the whole thing up for more publicity.”

Laurel’s fork froze in midair. “No.”

“That hurt. A lot. I’ve never had anyone look at me and think ‘ruthless.’ But that’s not the worst of it.” She took a bite, forcing herself to taste the perfect combination of tart and sweet. “I told him I loved him.”

“Love, like let’s-get-married love?”

“More like I-want-to-see-you-again love. But either way it doesn’t matter. He said I was wrong.”

“What?” Laurel abandoned her fork in the dish, her arms resting on the table as she leaned forward.

“He has a point. He’s been in love before. The kind you hope will last forever and ever. He would have walked away from his career for her. If I truly loved him, wouldn’t I do the same? Say, to hell with the morning show and my career.”

“What would that fix? The pictures are out there. If you do nothing, they’ll keep hounding you.”

Sadie closed her eyes. Her twin was right. They wouldn’t go away quietly. Not now. If they’d discovered her staying in a small town, spending her days with her sister and writing, this never would have happened. Their pictures would have been too boring to make headlines. But oral sex in a closed bookstore with a man who may or may not have a daughter? That was what tabloids lived for.

“Do the show,” Laurel said. “But then, go after him. You always go after what you want. Don’t let this be any different simply because it involves your heart instead of your job.”

“What’s the point? If he doesn’t love me, if he still loves his late wife, why bother?”

“Do you believe that?”

Last night, in her bed, he’d made love to her. What they?

?d shared had nothing to do with kinky fantasies. He’d given her everything he had to give. She just couldn’t say for sure if that included his heart.

“It doesn’t matter what I believe. He’s returning to Tennessee. He said goodbye and walked out the door without looking back.” She scanned the rapidly disappearing pie. “What would going after him prove? That I failed at another relationship, only this time it broke my heart? Even if I was able to track him down on the military base, what would I say? If he doesn’t believe me when I tell him I love him, what’s left?”

Laurel reached out and took her hand. “Sometimes actions speak louder than words.”

“That’s my problem. Mine say I love my job. Loud and clear.”

“Not always. You came here, didn’t you? For me?”

“You’re family.”

“He could be, too, one day. If your heart is invested.”

“It is. But I really wish it wasn’t.” Sadie stared at the half-empty dish, shaking her head as she pushed back from the table. “I should go before I eat the rest of this pie and show up for my television appearance five pounds heavier with dark circles under my eyes.”

Laurel gave her a hug. “You’ll be great tomorrow. I know you will.”

Sadie nodded, blew a kiss to her sleeping niece and headed for her car. Tears flowed down her face as she drove past Lou’s farm. Maybe if she cried the entire drive to New York, she’d stay dry-eyed during tomorrow’s interview. This trip, falling for Logan, it had changed her. It had forced her to take a hard look at her priorities. But she still refused to cry in public.

She drove past Main Street Books, fighting back sobs. She’d been a fool to think she could have it all. Maybe some women could balance a thriving career and family, but she wasn’t one of them. She’d tried and she’d failed, nearly costing the man she loved everything that was important to him.

“Another F,” she murmured as she pulled onto the highway, “in the relationship column.”

* * *