Always the One (Always and Forever 1)

“You make it so difficult to want to do anything other than be with you. I’m deeply considering quitting my job so I can just lie around all day with you. Being at your beck and call. It’s not healthy,” I partially joke. Shaking his head, he looks at me closely, like I’m wrong to feel wrong about needing him this much.

“If the world could turn in my favor, I would leave this place and share our time, being wrapped up in each other,” he retorts, further feeding the start of my unhealthy obsession with wasting the day away with him.

I want to tell him now that I love him—the lights, the wine, the playfulness, and the way we’re baring our souls to each other right now is the perfect time.

And just as I’m about to, we hear yelling coming from inside the apartment. Turning our heads abruptly, breaking our physical connection, we face the open sliding glass door.

“You don’t get to say things like that, Kingston, it’s not fair!”

We watch Lana come from the hallway and make her way to the kitchen, with Kings right on her heels. Oh no, this can’t be good. Kingston’s a hothead and Lana’s a sassy one. When they fight, it’s a war zone. You have to watch where you step and consider what you say because both parties are throwing grenades. There’s no survivors.

“You know what’s not fair? You letting me make love to you all night, making me start to have feelings, and then ripping the rug right out from under me!”

Trey and I make eye contact, both silently agreeing we need to separate them like two little kids, one in each corner.

“You get Lana, I’ll take my brother.”

He looks at me like I told him I’m Captain America. “Babe, he’s two hundred thirty pounds of pure muscle. You should let me get him.”

I laugh at his assessment, like I didn’t know that about my brother. He obviously doesn’t understand our relationship. I have the ability to calm my brother down, just like he does with me. Our mother was a real gem of a woman and she would rag on me and Kings growing up, so our support for each other was all we ever had.

“Trey, he won’t listen to you.” I snicker as I cross my arms over my chest. He’s shut out my dad’s voice for years when he would try and stop him from a verbal showdown with our mom. “My voice was the only one he’d hear, one word and he’d recoil. Let me take him. You stay with Lana until I get back.” Telling him this isn’t a question; it’s what is happening.

“Okay, you’re right. Take him and I’ll watch our girl.” I smile inwardly, loving the fact that he’s so close to my best friend.

Trey and I slip through the door and make ourselves known. I know they can both sense our presence, but that doesn’t stop them, not in the slightest.

“You keep fucking pushing me away, baby, and that’s not fair! Do I not make you happy? Why can’t I be fucking enough for you?” I watch Kingston’s face turn a deeper shade of red, and I know if I don’t get him out of here, they won’t come back from this. We won’t be the same four people. Kingston speaks all things with a ferocious passion, lacking the filter he needs.

“You want what I can’t give you. You know that and yet you still try and get me to be something more. That’s no one’s fault but your own, Kingston,” she huffs while throwing her hands up in an obvious gesture. “And stop calling me ‘baby!’ I’m not yours.”

The room goes silent, the hurt evident in Kingston’s face. Everyone’s eyes shift to Kingston and we all wait for the next move. I watch his hands clench into fists moments before a sinister laugh come from deep in his throat. It scares me.

“That’s where you’re wrong, baby,” he says, enunciating baby angrily. “You are mine, and I’ll prove it, but you might want to give up now because I will not let anyone else have you.”

That’s my cue to get him out of here.

“Kingston, stop. Let’s go.” I walk up to him slowly and carefully. He would never hurt me intentionally, but I’ve never seen him this worked up before and I don’t want to startle him. When I reach him, I touch my hand to his chest; the heat radiating from him takes me aback. He’s mad, blood boiling mad. This isn’t something I’ve discovered or experienced with my brother before tonight. I’ve seen him moody, maybe extremely irritated, but never this mad.

“Yeah, let’s go, because I’m obviously not enough for her.” His nostrils flare and he turns fast, making a steady pace toward the door.

“Kings, wait—” I look back at Lana and put my hand up between us, stopping her from making this worse.

I whisper to her, “Leave it, L, just give him space.” She doesn’t argue and just nods in understanding.

Shutting the door behind me, I start running in an attempt to catch up to him. His strides are too long and quick. “Wait, Kings, wait!” I’m out of breath when I catch him in the elevator, and I realize I’m pathetically out of shape, gasping lungfuls of air.

Looking up at Kingston, I see tears building in his hazel eyes. It makes me feel defeated. I really think the broken heart in a human can never truly find solace or happiness in words but only by the love and comfort of another. Here and now is where that’s ever more true. I can’t say anything to make him feel better, or heal what cracks are building in his heart, but I can hold him and comfort him with my presence. I can comfort him with my love. Wrapping my arms tightly around my brother, I feel his resistance to me dissipate and he returns the embrace.

“I love that woman. Damn it! I love that woman! I slept with her, Shay, and the way she looked at me… Fuck, I swear she was finally ready to let me in.” I let him speak; he needs to work this out in his head. I didn’t think sleeping with her one time would cause him to feel this strongly so fast. Then again, they have secretly liked each other for years. My brother tried to break Joel and Lana up on countless occasions so he could be with her.

I held my brother for hours that night until he fell asleep, talking about Lana and all the ways he loves her, but how she also drives him crazy. I love Lana, I do, but it hurts me to know that she’s hurting my brother consistently like this. Worst of all that it happened under my nose.

I understand her fears or her drawbacks, but why can’t she just let him go and quit roping him back in. Oh, and Kingston, why does he have to be so damn stubborn? Just let her go. If you love something set it free, and if it comes back, it’s meant to be, right?

I hear the front door open and know it’s Trey. More than anything, I want to curl up with him and revel in the fact that even with some of our flaws, we’re fighting them together, my brother and Lana making me feel both blessed and guilty. Blessed that Trey hasn’t been as bad as he let on and guilty that I’ve been in perpetual bliss while they’ve been secretly fighting fire with fire.

I untangle myself from my brother and creep out of the room quietly, in hopes that I don’t wake him. He wrestles around the bed a little bit then turns to the side with his back facing me. I wait a quiet second; getting the green light to leave the room when I hear his faint snore, then sneak out of the room, closing the door quietly behind me.