“Charles would tell you the same thing if he were here now.” I cry even harder alongside her. I wondered many times what it would be like to find my dress, what emotions I would feel, and how I would know. I can’t explain nor answer any of those; I just know it’s better than any dream.
“You do look like my little princess, but all grown up,” my dad says, standing behind Kathy, putting his hands on her shoulders. I love that he keeps wiping at his tears with a hurried determination, pretending he isn’t really crying.
“You think Trey will love it?” That’s whose opinion I care most about.
“Shay, are you kidding? He’s going to die, come back to life, and then ruin your dress with his savage ways.”
“Lana!” Kingston and I say in unison. I don’t miss the uncomfortable twitch my dad made; I mean honestly, why are we even shocked—that’s Lana for you.
“What, it’s the truth. He’ll be blown away. I think it’s the one.” I look at everyone’s faces, deliberately skipping over my mother’s and landing on Jaclyn’s.
“Is this the one?” she asks, lifting her hands in the air.
After a brief pause I shriek excitedly. “Yes!”
And just like that, I find it. My dream dress, my every fairytale and childhood dream. I stare at myself for a few minutes longer, tracing over every detail of the gown before I get dressed.
I’m slipping on my Converse shoes in the fitting room when there’s a rap on the door.
“Shayla, sweetie, it’s Kathy. Are you decent?”
“Yes, come in.” Stepping in, she closes the door behind her, indicating she wants privacy.
“I wanted to ask you something.” She sits on the chair to the right of me, grabbing my hands, she brings them to her lap, where they then rest. Her hands are fragile, looking thinner than they we
re a few months ago. Pops’s death still evident in the little things.
“Anything.” Hesitantly, her eyes search the dressing room, landing on my hanging dress just across from us.
“You picked the right one, you know that?” For a second I believe she’s referring to my dress, but I know better, there is a double meaning.
“Yeah, I really did—and yes, I do.” I squeeze her hand.
“Well, yes—anyway—I would like to pay for the dress.” No way can she pay for my dress; her words shock me, my eyes growing wide in response.
“No, you can’t do that for me—actually, you don’t need to do that,” I rush out, putting my free hand over hers. I don’t want to put her in a position or make her think she needs to. Trey and I are having a small, intimate wedding on the beach where he proposed. The funding for that isn’t insanely expensive, so we’re more than comfortable splurging on my dress.
This morning we decided—well, he decided—that I could spend whatever I wanted on my gown. I woke with his face between my legs, his tongue lapping at me, appreciating my body, spoiling me with multiple orgasms. When he finished, he told me to spend whatever I wanted on the dress that speaks to me. I blush a little at the thought.
“I really want to, Charles and I would’ve done this together. I would really like to do this for you—for my husband.” Her smile doesn’t reach her eyes, and I don’t even have it in me to argue with something like that. This isn’t just for me; she’s doing it to feel closer to her husband. Her husband that won’t be here physically to be beside his son.She won’t have his hand to hold while we share our vows, or his arms to be wrapped in when we all dance on the dance floor. Kathy needs this one thing to feel nearer to him. I can’t and shouldn’t deny her of that.
“Okay, yes, of course you can.” I accede to her wish, freely, with no more fight, without any stipulations. She leans in and wraps her small arms around my neck, crying softly into my shoulder.
“You’re the greatest thing to happen to my son.”
See that right there? The way she clings to her son? The way she speaks about him with admiration in her every word? She’s his mother. I know he wants to make things work with Gwen, but he already has a mother—a great one.
“No, he’s the greatest thing in mine.” I have had so many small, yet significant moments like this with Kathy and it’s truly built a strong bond between us. I’ve been making most wedding plans with her. We picked the flowers, the bridesmaid dress, the cake, all that together. Kathy is the most genuine human I know, and I aspire to be just like her one day.
“It’s getting late, so I need to make my way back to Portland. I’ll call you tomorrow.” She stands.
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Love you, Kathy.” She squints her nose and chuckles, hugging me and stopping for a brief second to look me over one last time.
“Kathy, that’s too formal. Call me Mom.” She winks, leaving the room. I finish gathering my things to go. I have a date tonight with one handsome man.
Shayla
“YOU LOOK STUNNING TONIGHT, BABY.” I look up from my phone and smile at my handsome fiancé. He’s wearing black jeans and a button-up, blue, long-sleeved dress shirt, looking every bit delicious. He has it buttoned all the way up under his chin, the sleeves sticking to his arms like a damn vice. Showing me the curves and dips to his strong biceps. His tan suede dress shoes are paired perfectly with the tan Rolex his father gave him. I smile at the quick memory. His hair is freshly trimmed, slicked back into a trendy style. I appreciate that he dressed to the nines just for me; it’s a sweet gesture.