Forever Us (Always and Forever 4)

“We’re taken. My husband’s a jealous hottie, and her man is a psycho caveman. In fact, you might run and hide. I’m sure your little pickup line just sent a shift in the air. They probably felt it and are already on their way here,” Shayla interrupts, and he accepts defeat. I watch him bow out with one more look, and laugh alongside Shay.

“You are bold tonight. I like this Mommy-Shayla. Maybe you should drink more. I can handle a kiss or two!” I take the shot from the table and we raise a cheers.

“Oh, baby, the night is still young! Woohoo!” Clinking shot glasses, we chase down the shooters with our drinks.

“Yuck, shit that burns. I think that was straight patron.”

“I know. But hey, at least he thinks we’re hot. We still got it!” My hell, I have missed her. We never really had this part of our lives together, the clubbing and drinking. We maybe did it for a few months after we turned twenty-one, but that’s around the time things picked up with Trey and Kingston, and the partying and going out happened less and less. Sure, we’re only twenty-four, but it feels like we’re much older than that. Between babies, life, owning a business, and Shayla being married, we’re like old maids.

Hanging out with her like this for even just a night feels more than much needed.

“Okay, can we please dance?” Shayla nudges my hip with the back of her hand and I slide out of the booth.

“Yes, please. I have the looks, but let’s see if I still have the moves.”

Heading out to the dance floor, we find a small amount of room, and for the first time in a long time, I let my inhibitions go. I don’t think about therapy, about Joel, about the shit that happened with Hilary, and I sure as hell don’t think about anything other than me. Selfishly, I think of only myself in this moment, my body growing damp with a light sheen of sweat, my hips moving and swaying to the beat, my hands lost behind me, holding my hair so the sweat doesn’t ruin my curls.

I feel the beat in my chest, the rhythm of my heart syncing to the music. I feel wild and free, young and careless, reckless, and one hundred percent the Lana James I have been searching for in the dark. Finally opening my eyes, I see Shayla doing her thing in front of me, her smile infectious and her mama troubles out the window. We are enjoying this time together as best friends, and I love every minute of it.

Twirling around, I look at the ground below me, biting my lip as the beat fades into another upbeat song. I let my gaze roam up and take in everything my eyes catch, like seeing something for the first time. When my head lifts fully, I smile, my lips sliding from my teeth. My brain feels a little fuzzy from my drink, but not enough to have me lose my footing.

A girl squeals excitedly in front of me, and I watch her throw her head back, laughing against the handsome man dancing behind her. But just on the side of her thin neck, I see a face I have only seen in my nightmares these past years. A mirage, I’m sure, or even a trip from the alcohol.

Joel?

I stumble back, and my heart beats out of my chest, spiking in fear as the sweat on my body starts to boil, not from heat, but from complete and utter fear. I drop my head and blink rapidly a few times. With a quick shake of my head and a deep inhale, I peer back up with as much strength as I can, and like he was there, he isn’t anymore.

“Lana?” Shayla calls out to me as my eyes dance rapidly around the bar, looking for him. That had to be the alcohol, the consequence of me being careless and not thinking about him for a split second. When I see he is nowhere in the club, I know it was in my head. He couldn’t have disappeared that fast, and not only that, but he would have no idea where to find me. And if he had, he would have come to me. Joel would never walk away from me if he had the chance to get to me.

“Lana! Hey, what’s wrong? You’re freezing and shaking!”

I turn to face Shay, letting my body settle as I tuck my hair behind my ear and shake my head repeatedly. “Nothing, I just had way too much to drink. Maybe we should have pre-gamed.” I laugh, trying to throw her off my trail. I’m starting to get better; I don’t want to tell her I’m seeing Joel because of my alcohol consumption. The last thing I need is her telling Kingston I’m not getting better. I just got him back, and I am not losing him again over some mirage.

“We had one shot and one drink. Oh my gosh, we are old!” She laughs, and I do too, but it doesn’t reach my eyes.

“Yeah. I’m gonna take a seat and get a water.”

“No, I will grab some from the bar. I’ll meet you at the table. Don’t fall!” She giggles, while the shell shocked version of myself stumbles back to the table. Once I sit

down, I take a few deep, soothing breaths and dig out my phone from my clutch.

I unlock the screen and go straight for Messages, ready to text Kingston so I can find my normal again, but he beat me to it. His name in my phone is changed again, and I roll my eyes with a soft chuckle, his presence already working.

Kingston, yo one and only baby daddy: All right, hear me out. I know my sister is wicked fucking awesome, and like, I love hanging out with her as much as you do, but like, look at this.

Attached is a picture of him shirtless in our bed, pouting with my pillow in his arms. Rolling my eyes, I keep reading.

Kingston, yo one and only baby daddy: Knowing you, you rolled your eyes at me, so I brought some back up to convince you. Fucking look at us, Mama. Look how fucking cute we are. Come home and spoil us!

The next picture is him in our bathroom, shirtless in his sweats, with Prince’s fat little body in his huge arms. Kings is looking in the mirror with elation on his face, and our son’s chubby cheek is smushed against Kingston’s, with his hand gripping his dad’s wild, curly mane and the other holding onto his lip. His little smile has my heart melting like putty in their hands.

Now, I’m homesick.

Kingston, yo one and only baby daddy: So moral of the story is, I’m good looking, you’re fucking good looking, and we make cute looking babies, so get your sexy little ass home and come give me more good looking babies. Please?

I practically snort and feel the slight sting of happy tears behind my lids.

Me: You’re killing me. He is so perfect. I can’t believe we made that! Ahh. You’re right. Give me a few more dances with the handsome bartender, and one more drink with Shayla, and then I’ll come home and let you knock me up.