“Stop this.” Micah jerked her around.
Risa stared up at him in shock. His black eyes were primal, sparking with bits of white light that almost held her entranced.
“Did Jordan show him the video as well?” She told herself she was merely curious. It wasn’t as though the video could be any worse than the pictures.
“Risa, stop.” Micah’s hand framed her face, his long fingers pushing into her hair as he stared back at her, his gaze tormented. “Knight refused to listen to Jordan’s explanations. He wanted proof. He wasn’t backing down without it, honey. It was give him proof or kill him.”
A smile curved her lips. She felt it. An automated response as something began to tear loose inside her soul.
“I think I would have preferred that you kill me,” she stated. “Have you seen them?”
“Risa,” he objected roughly. “Let’s go back home; we’ll talk about this there.”
She jerked her head from his grip and stared around the room. Ian and Kira; there was the agent John who stayed in the apartment. How interesting, the chauffeur who had driven them earlier stood in the doorway to a bedroom. Nik watched her with icy Nordic blue eyes. There was the redhead from the elevator. And lo and behold, why, there was Risa’s good friend Emily’s husband stepping into the room, Kell.
“Have all of them seen those pictures?” Risa turned back to Micah. “Did you have like a meeting? What do you call it? A mission objective where you looked at the gory evidence first? Did you get to see the video? I can’t imagine it was very interesting.”
She was talking too fast. Risa felt cut off, disconnected with herself, as voices echoed in the back of her head.
“No, Risa,” he bit out roughly. “The pictures were part of the file we had. I didn’t look at the pictures and neither did the others. We knew what had happened to you.”
“And you’re not a SEAL.” She knew he wasn’t. She leaned forward almost playfully; she felt like a wooden doll with no soul. “I bet that was Emily’s idea, huh? She knew I used to dream of a SEAL slipping into my bedroom and rescuing me when I was a child. Did she tell you that?”
“Risa. Baby.” Micah’s voice lowered, and she wondered if that was his hand that shook as he touched her cheek or if she was simply shaking that hard.
“No answer?” She felt weak. She felt as though she were being ripped apart inside and she couldn’t even let the rage escape. She couldn’t hit him; she couldn’t hate him. She stared up at him, and in that second of agony she actually realized she loved him.
She almost laughed at that thought. Poor ugly Risa. She thought she’d found a SEAL, and now she didn’t even know what stood in its place.
“Micah is former Israeli Mossad, Risa.” That was Jordan’s voice. It was low; it was wicked dark. Funny, she shouldn’t even care that he sounded as though he was in pain.
“Mossad,” she said faintly. “Yeah, it fits. Jewish. No bacon.”
“Risa, stop this.” His expression was worried, filled with pain. Tormented.
She turned her head and stared at Mac. His eyes were darker than she had ever seen them. “We were friends,” she whispered.
“We’re still friends.” He swallowed heavily. “We’ll always be friends, Risa. Do you think I’d blame you?”
She shook her head. “No friends, Mac. Don’t have friends, they just lie to you, don’t you know that?”
She heard someone sob and thought maybe it was the redhead.
“Micah, get her the hell out of here,” Jordan cursed. “I’ll call her psychologist and get her over here.”
Risa wanted to laugh at that.
She whirled on Jordan instead. “Don’t worry, Mr. Malone, I have medication, and I know how to take it if I need it.” She stared at him with cold, brutal anger. “Do you know, every time I’ve seen you you’ve been like the Grim Reaper of goodwill and cheer. You should find another profession.”
Surprise glittered in his eyes.
Risa shrugged off Micah’s hold and moved carefully, deliberately, across the room. She wasn’t going to cry here. As she reached the door, she turned and looked across the room to Kell. His green eyes were filled with regret.
“Tell Emily I love her anyway,” Risa whispered, as she had to clamp her lips together to keep from sobbing. “She lied to me, Kell. Both of you lied to me.”
She felt loss, and she felt alone. She stared around the room, realizing that everyone she loved had lied to her as though she were a child who couldn’t handle the truth, who couldn’t handle reality.
“All you had to do was tell me the truth.” She stared at Micah, her heart breaking as her first tear fell. “Just the truth.”