“Look closer,” I said.
She zoomed in on the picture and squinted. “I mean, I see what you're talking about, but I think it's still pretty clearly one line.” She handed me back the phone and bit her lip. Her eyes seemed a lot wider than usual. “Still, you must be freaking out.”
I nodded. “I'm late on my period, but that doesn't mean much for me. I also threw up this morning, though it might have been the alcohol from last night.” Anne didn't know that I hadn't drank alcohol last night, that my cup had just been full of soda, but it felt easier to explain that way.
Anne bit her lip. “Maybe you were just thinking of Ryan from last night and it made you retch.”
I laughed. “Yeah, that could be it. I don't know, though.”
Anne kept biting her lip. “I hate to ask, but-”
“No, I don't know who the father is,” I cut her off with a lie. I had been with Danny before Christmas Break, about six weeks ago, but he had always insisted on wearing a condom. No, I knew exactly who the father was. And, now that I was saying all this out loud, it occurred to me how real it all was.
Anne must have seen my anguish building, because she held out her arms in a hug. Without hesitation I buried myself in her shoulder, feeling the tears start immediately. She stroked my hair gently and said nothing, just letting me cry.
I hadn't cried like this since James had told me that he wanted me out of his life, and now it turned out that he might be in my life forever. Still, the stress of everything was building up. Between the possible pregnancy, having to keep my stories straight for all my friends, my roommate sending naked pictures to James, and my fight with James this morning, I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders.
And when I thought of all that on top of my classes and upcoming midterms, I really began to sob. Added to the fact that I'd have to drop out at least temporarily due to this, and it was enough to make anyone cry.
I don't know how long I sat there on Anne's couch, crying my eyes out and wracking my body with sobs. However, Anne just sat there, letting me ruin her Saturday plans with my emotions. Speaking of her Saturday plans...
I slowly sat back up. She had real concern in her eyes. “Feel better?” she asked.
I nodded while I was still unable to speak. She handed me a tissue box and I blew my nose a couple times. “You know what would really cheer me up?”
“I'd really like to know,” she said.
Just the answer perked me up. “I'd love it if I could just listen to you play the guitar for a little while.”
Anne smiled. “Gladly.”
And so Anne got out an acoustic guitar. I closed my eyes and smiled as I listened to her play next to me. She sang softly, her voice emotional as she sang about love. It wasn't really her voice I was hearing, though.
It was James.
Chapter 37
I left her house in much better spirits. I was ready to talk to James about Nicole. I was ready to talk to him about Ryan. I was ready to talk to him about playing the guitar, if he wanted.
I wasn't sure I was ready to talk to him about the pitter patter of little feet.
I thought about Anne's ex-girlfriend and how she accused her of making a lie of omission. I didn't think it was fair in her case, but I hadn't exactly been up front with James. In fact, I remembered what I had said when he had asked me, point blank, if I was on the pill.
“What do you think?” A wink and a smile as I laid across his desk, legs spread and already filled with his seed.
Yeah, I'd say that was a pretty big lie of omission. Still, it had been too late at that point anyway. Well, not too late for Plan B or something similar, but I never would have used those anyway. Still, he probably wouldn't have made love to me another five times if I had told him right then. Or he would have worn a condom? Or he would have watched me take the pill? I didn't know.
I sighed, thinking about what a mess I had gotten myself into. The cry with Anne had felt good, but it had hardly gotten rid of my problems.
I started to walk back to James' apartment, hoping he'd be there. As soon as I pulled out my phone to text him and make sure he hadn't gone into the office, it began to ring.
Tessa.
I sighed. One more problem that I hadn't even thought about. What was I going to tell her?
The truth, I decided. I had just told Anne, and I might as well tell Tessa as well. Except that I knew that she would ask if James was the father, and I wouldn't be able to lie my way out of that. She might judge me, but it was just something that I'd have to deal with.
I answered the phone. “Hey.”