Wishful Kisses (The Kisses 4.5)

"It's more than just a bad feeling..."

"This isn't like asking me to quit my job. This is asking me to abandon the only people who care about me. Dean and Matt are my brothers. I won't leave them to go off without me," he stated flatly. He stared at his mostly-packed bag. "Believe me, I want to stay with you as much as you do, but I'm not going to say this again, Kimberly. I'm leaving."

I choked back tears. I was desperate to find a way to make him stay. If I told him I was from the future, he would just think I was crazy. I wracked my brain to come up with some event that would convince that I knew what would happen, but it had been twenty years since this moment. Even without my memory fading, the weather had been exactly as forecasted, there were no strange delays, no one said or did anything strange, and there was nothing memorable in the news. For once in my life, I wished that there had been a horrible earthquake or tsunami that I could predict, but there wasn't.

In all the times I had dreamed of coming back to this day, I had never considered how hard it would be. How do you convince someone that you're from the future without sounding completely crazy?

"I had this dream... and-" I tried, saying the only thing I could think of. Tony raised his hand as though he were stopping my words in the air.

"Kimberly, stop," he said. He looked at me with sad eyes. I recognized the look. He thought I was crazy. "I'm going, and that's final. If you want to keep on with this, then don't bother coming with me to the airport."

His shoulders slumped as he turned to pick up his bag. He lifted it onto his back like it was weightless, stepping out of the room and walking to the car. I was speechless. I just sat there as I heard him stomp through the house.

I had failed. More than failed. He thought I was psycho now.

I heard the front door slam. Tears ran down my face. How could I have messed this up so badly? I had failed. I had failed and ruined what had been a beautiful last day. He was leaving, and any more attempts were going to just make him angrier with me.

Failure hung heavy on my shoulders. I wished I could just walk into the ocean and drown. I had been given the gift of a chance, and I had blown it. Tony was going to die, and I was going to have to experience the loss again. It would be even worse this time because I would know it was coming. I wiped my eyes, trying to figure out how to ask Matt and Dean to watch out for him and not sound even more crazy.

"Oh, Fountain," I whimpered, trying to keep my sobs in check despite my heart wanting to explode. "How do I fix this?"

I covered my face with my hands, unable to stop the sobs from escaping. Tears leaked between my fingers, as I buried myself in the pillow. I had failed.

Chapter 11

Unknown Time

I don't know how long I cried, but at some point I became aware that things had changed. I sat up and wiped my cheeks. The condo was gone. Mist was all around me. Behind me I could hear the soft whispers of the fountain as it flowed.

"It didn't work," I sobbed, turning to look up at Diana. A soft sadness crossed her face as she knelt beside me.

"I must apologize. I had a feeling that date was not the day to go back to, but you were so sure of yourself." She wiped her soft hand across my cheek, catching my tears.

I looked up at her, expecting more. When she didn't say anything, I began to fall even deeper into despair. "So that's it?"

Her look was maternal, as if teaching me a harsh lesson. "That is it. You did not save him. He still died on the same day. Though your fight caused him to write you less before he left, the memory of the days and nights you spent together convinced him that you were the girl of his dreams. He intended to marry you, and he died loving you no less than in your original timeline."

I felt the strength sap from

my body. "Is that supposed to comfort me? He's still dead."

Diana nodded. "Yes, he is still dead."

I waited for a moment, and as the swirling mists enveloped the fountain, I started to cry again.

"Can you send me back again?" I asked, just as Diana began to fade from my sight as well.

"My child, not many people get a second chance, and fewer still get a third."

"But can you?" I asked, hope filling my voice.

Diana snapped back into my vision. For the first time, she looked less confident. "I can never send you back to the time that you just visited. However..."

"You can send me back again," I finished her sentence. She paused. There was clearly something keeping her from sending me back. "I have to go back again."

She smiled, but there was clearly pain behind her words. "Words did not persuade Tony last time. What makes you think that he will listen to you at another time?"

"If you can do it, I have to go. I have to try."