“Money is everything,” he repeated.
“Money is everything,” Lucy agreed.
Chapter 36
Nathan
Nathan sat in the empty office, staring at his bank account numbers on his phone.
He was down ten million today, but the market looked like it might swing up by the end of the day. A ten million dollar fluctuation was nothing, but it was worrying. He hadn’t had a good up day since meeting Holly.
He could see the choice in front of him. Holly or the money.
The money had always been there for him. Since the beginning, money had given him what he needed. It wasn’t his family that had made him successful, it was the fact that he liked seeing the numbers in his bank account go up.
He wished he could have both worlds, one of business and one with community and friends. He knew it couldn’t be. It had to be one or the other. That was the way it had always been, and up until this moment, the easy choice had been the money.
He wanted to forget the smiles on the children’s faces today. He wanted to forget the warmth of the town. The way everyone said hello and treated him like he’d always lived there. He wanted to pretend that taking this business away wouldn’t change the town. That it would stay the same.
But he knew it wouldn’t.
ECT was the lifeblood of the town. Without it, the majority of the high-paying jobs would disappear. The housing market was already experiencing a downturn because so many houses were being put on the market for the move to California.
“Money is what matters,” he told himself.
The money would be worth it. He would see his bank account and this would be justified.
Except, he knew that the money didn’t matter for Holly.
He mattered to her.
He closed his eyes and tried to imagine what the next few months would look like.
The company would move to California. He would be busy with molding it into what Paradigm wanted. He would gut ECT and change everything about it to fit the Paradigm model. It wouldn’t be the company Holly remembered when he was done.
In California, he would barely see Holly at all. He would go back to his old life. The one where he slept at the office and only ate because Lucy brought him food. He would barely have time to shower, let alone have a relationship.
It wasn’t fair to Holly. She deserved someone who would love and cherish her. She deserved someone who could volunteer in her classroom. Who could be in parades and sit and discuss books, who could lay in bed and snuggle and laugh.
He wasn’t that person.
This week had been heavenly, but it wasn’t who he was. He was Paradigm Technologies. He was a cut-throat businessman who took what he want. His only concern was money, and getting more of it.
He could give Holly money, but that wasn’t what she needed.
She needed love and time.
He didn’t know how to do that. Not with his life. Not with the way his world worked.
He’d let himself believe the dream. He’d let himself think that if he kept ECT in Devonsville, it would change things. That he could have both worlds.
But he couldn’t.
He could only have one.
He had to end things. If he did it now, they would both survive the heartbreak. She would have her family and Christmas to help her through it. He didn’t want to ruin her Christmas with memories of him.
He was the Grinch. Scrooge. The enemy of Christmas. It was better for her to have the holiday without him ruining things. Better to leave before the stakes were too high. If he left now, she could still have a happy Christmas.