But something was wrong.
I was there again.
Crouched on the floor, hoping to God that he would keep walking. But he wouldn't turn back and see me, pathetically trying to hide behind the cleaning cart. But he did, just like he always did. But this time instead of the other two men jumping on him, he had finally done what he set out to do. The gun was in his hand, the second bullet ringing out, ringing through my head, exploding. I don't feel it at first, until I feel the wetness on my hand, as I bring it away from my chest. No one's there to save me this time. No one hears me cry out.
I shot up, completely drenched in my own sweat. I didn't even realize I had been screaming until Julien rolled over from his side of the bed, drowsy but panicked.
"Are you okay? What happened? Did you have another bad dream?"
I couldn't answer him, because he knows the answer. There was no reason to bring it back up. Yes, I had another nightmare. I probably would always have them, according to the shrink they made me see. There was nothing I could do about it, but hopefully it would be another month before I had it again.
Julien just pulled me up against his chest, trying his best to soothe me. It only took a few minutes, but I finally calmed down enough to thank him for being there for me. Even in the dark I could see him smile, though he was still half-asleep. He really had no idea, but I would make sure he would find out one way or the other just how much he meant to me.
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Chapter 26
The rest of the weekend had been incredible. The open ocean was beautiful, but we mostly spent our time below decks. Julien was trying even harder to get my mind off of the nightmares, which seemed to be happening more frequently than not. I didn’t know what was triggering them, but wished whatever it was would stop.
When we finally made it back to the château, not much had changed. At least Marie wasn't about to say anythi
ng negative about the times Julien would sneak me away from my duties…
The days turned into weeks, and then the next thing I knew, it had been three weeks since our weekend on the Mediterranean. I couldn't believe how fast time is flying by.
Julien was away working for the past week. He told me how much he hated leaving me, but I knew he would be back. I had total faith in him and I wasn't gonna let any kind of weird insecurity sneak up on me. I had let myself trust him, because if I couldn't, where would that leave us?
Marie kept me plenty busy, but Alain also took the time out of his day to show me the ins and out of landscaping. I wanted to have something nice to show Julien when he came back home, sort of like my own little surprise for him. I didn't have billions to drop at the turn of a dime, but I had my own special powers. Sort of.
It took plenty of hard work, but Alain was patient with me. He showed me how to till the dirt, and then reprimanded me when I called it dirt.
"No. Not dirt. Soil, there is difference," he had said, scooping up some of the dark Earth in his hands. Not much really got to him, but the moment you started dissing mother nature, Alain had plenty to say about it. It was one of the things I liked about him best.
In the end, we had pretty little perennials growing not too far from the front entrance. It stood out against the bright green foliage that mainly lined the sidewalk. I wondered if Julien would notice.
I was dying to see him again. I had so many questions.. I wanted to know every single detail about his trip. I wondered if he’d thought about me as much as I’d thought about him.
As the days wore on without Julien’s return, my curiosity turned something sour, just like my stomach. I was finding it harder to keep on my toes, especially with the amount of work Marie had thrown at me. Usually I had plenty of energy, but for some reason something just wasn't sitting well with me. Maybe I had caught something?
When I finally made it into the kitchen to speak with Marie, Gervaise looked at me funny.
"Not feeling well?" he asked, bringing me a cup of steaming hot tea. I frowned at him, wondering how he knew. Was it that obvious? Did I look that bad?
I tried to smile at him, shaking my head. "I've felt better. But I'll be okay. Probably just a little bug, or something."
He narrowed his eyes at me, but didn't say anything further.
“Thank you for the tea…”
“It is my pleasure. You should finish it quickly… Julien should arrive any minute.”
“He’s coming today? I thought he wasn’t going to be back for another week!”
I stood up, a feeling of excitement rolling through me. I wanted to run out toward the entrance to the estate to wait for Julien, but it was too fast. My stomach turned on me, and it was all I could do to avoid vomiting on the pristine floor.
Oh yeah, something was definitely going on. My eyes watered and my stomach burned in agony. It had been so long since something had made me feel like this. Luckily Marie had just shown up in the doorway, clearly worried.
"What happened? Are you ill?"