“Is it mine?”
Angry, Nadia turned to face him, accidentally displacing the test in the process and sending it flying across the floor. Though she wanted more than anything to know if it was positive or negative, she was too caught up in her anger at Sawyer to bother chasing it down for a moment. “Of course it would be yours. I’m not the slut in this relationship.”
He flinched, but didn’t dispute her words. “How could it have happened? We’ve always used protection.”
She shrugged, searching her mind. “I’m not sure…” She trailed off, suddenly a memory coming to her. “That night at the party, when you had your temper tantrum because I was talking to Timothy. We weren’t careful that night. We were too caught up in the moment.”
He swore softly, shaking his head. He looked physically ill. “You’re having an abortion.”
Sawyer spoke with such conviction that she reared away from him, barely resisting the urge to slap him. “It’s my body, and I’ll decide what I do with it. You can’t just tell me I’m having an abortion.”
“You don’t understand. It can’t be born.” He shook his head, a strange mix of fear and anger on his face. “You have to terminate.”
“I don’t have to do anything, Sawyer. I’m going to make the decision for myself and my baby. I think it’s obvious you don’t want anything to do with us, so you don’t have to worry about a thing. I don’t want money, I don’t want your name on the birth certificate, and I sure don’t want you to be involved in his or her life. I just want you to get out.”
His face turned white, and his lips thinned, but he turned on his heel and strode from the room. It was only a moment later, as she sagged against the counter, that she realized she had just kicked him out of his own room. She stifled the urge to laugh, sensing there was a hysterical note underneath it, before going to retrieve the pregnancy test that held all the answers, or at least the answer to the most important question looming before her. Was she about to be a mother, and if so, was she ready for that?
Nadia was in the middle of packing her suitcase when there was a tap at the door just before it opened. Sawyer wouldn’t have knocked before entering his own room, so she was wasn’t surprised to see Kiersten standing in the doorway. She didn’t respond or make a greeting to the other woman as she continued putting her things methodically in her luggage.
Initially, she had planned to abandon the garments, not wanting anything else to do with Sawyer, but had realized that was stupid. The clothes were worth a lot of money, and even if she didn’t love them—which she did—it would be silly to waste an entire wardrobe, especially since her finances were ambiguous at the moment. She had no idea if or when she would ever see the other part of the money Sawyer owed her for their agreement. After all, it had evolved from a business arrangement to one of pleasure to a stinking hot mess.
“Sawyer went blazing out of here in anger a little while ago,” said Kiersten as she stepped inside the room. She took only a few hesitant steps forward, as though she expected Nadia to demand she leave.
Nadia shrugged, moving to the next drawer full of ridiculously frilly underthings. She wouldn’t be wearing those again for a while, if ever. She certainly couldn’t imagine wearing them for another man. After this debacle, she was finished with men. “Uh huh.”
Kiersten took another hesitant step forward. “Would you like to talk about it?”
Nadia shook her head jerkily. She was furiously angry with Sawyer at the moment, but she didn’t want to come between him and his family. They didn’t need to know what a gigantic ass he was, even if they suspected it. “There’s nothing to talk about,” she said brusquely past the lump in her throat.
“I was afraid he’d mess it up. He finds something real, and he messes it up.” Kiersten shook her head sadly. “He has this idea that the only way he’ll be happy is to live every moment of every day doing something new and exciting that he’s never explored before. In a way, I guess he’s trying to make up for Dad’s lack of living, but he’s got it all messed up in his head. If only he would…” sh
e trailed off.
Nadia looked up, intrigued by her tone as much as by what the other woman had left unspoken. “If he would what?” Grow up? Take some responsibility? She left the questions unasked, not wanting to hurt his sister.
Kiersten sighed heavily. “It’s not really my place to tell you, but he does have his reasons.”
She snorted. “His reasons. Everybody makes excuses for Sawyer. Sawyer has his reasons for behaving so irresponsibly. Sawyer has his reasons for sleeping his way through every woman in a thousand-mile radius. Yeah, Sawyer has his reasons, but they never come to light. I’m not going to wait around on Sawyer’s reasons.”
Kiersten held up a hand. “Please, Nadia, I really don’t want to violate his confidence, but I’m begging you to stay. Give him just a couple of hours to cool down. Maybe a day or two even. He’ll be back, and maybe he’ll explain it all then. I don’t know what happened between you two, but I know he loves you.”
Nadia shook her head. “You’re fooling yourself if you believe that. He’s already moved on to Paige, or perhaps someone new after her.”
Kiersten’s eyes narrowed. “He cheated on you?”
Nadia almost nodded firmly, but then hesitated. In the end, she settled for a shrug. “I don’t really know, but he strongly suggested it was coming, if it hadn’t already occurred. All I know is he’s done with me. He’s bored and ready to move on.” Worst of all, he wanted her to dispose of her pregnancy as if it meant nothing, as if it warranted no thought or consideration at all. She didn’t mention that either, having no desire to share her news with his family, at least not yet. She’d barely started to accept it herself so far.
“I just can’t imagine that. You might think I’m being silly or naïve, but I can tell he loves you. He looks at you the way he’s never looked at anyone else in the world before, Nadia. Please, just stay a little while longer. It might not lead to anything, but wouldn’t you feel better if everything worked out?”
Nadia wanted to keep fighting, but it would require revealing certain information she didn’t want to share. She couldn’t ask Kiersten how she was supposed to forgive his demand that she terminate their child, and how she was supposed to get over how little regard he held for her or the life of the baby they had created. He hadn’t even been willing to entertain a discussion on what they should do, or how they should handle the consequences of their own irresponsibility.
How could she get past that? He would come back, but it wouldn’t be for her. Still, it would be easier to stay for a day or two until she had worked out firmer plans and reconnected with Timothy Wynndt and Hugo Blackwell. Obviously, her dream would be on hold again for a while, but perhaps they would have the contacts that would help her find a new job working in the racing world. It wasn’t the dream she wanted, but it was a compromise between that and returning to duty as someone’s skipper
Giving in with a sigh, she said, “I’m going to need a different room.”
Kiersten looked relieved. “Of course. I’ll have one of the maids move your things to the room at the other end of the hall. It will give you plenty of space.” She left it unsaid, but the implication was there that it wasn’t just space to think, or create emotional distance. It was literal distance, far from Sawyer’s room. It sounded like the perfect solution.
She nodded, abandoning her packing in mid-bag. Exhaustion swept over her all of a sudden, and she wasn’t sure she could keep going any longer. It was a relief to leave the packing to the staff and follow Kiersten down the hall. Her new room wasn’t as spacious or as luxurious as Sawyer’s, but it was a welcome respite from the place that smelled like him and was full of memories of their brief relationship that had burned so brightly before crashing so hard.