Worrying won’t accomplish anything. Just move forward.
Chapter Thirteen
AMARA ROLLED UP TO THE stop sign and heaved a heavy sigh before looking back at Hampton’s car seat. He was sound asleep as he generally was during car rides. It was always hard to leave him with someone else, no matter the circumstance, but today was especially rough.
The first hints of pink and gold touched the sky and clouds, sunset imminent. She still had plenty of time to visit with Raneesha and make it to the hotel by eight.
Her black dress was simple and elegant, a well-fit understated affair matched with glossy black patent pumps. The dress was chosen to keep Raneesha from asking too many questions about her plans while coming off classy enough for a dinner at a place as nice as the Forsythia.
As much as she dreaded what Quint had to say at the dinner, she didn’t want to seem out of place or under-dressed.
As Amara pulled up to her mother’s modest two-story home, she listened for changes in Hampton’s breathing or any signs that he was waking up. Hearing nothing, she made her way quietly around to unstrap the car seat carrier and gently lift him from the car. She hoped he’d sleep through her departure.
Raneesha opened the glass-paned front door, smiling broadly as she usually did. While her mother’s smile usually put Amara at ease, today it only underscored how drastic the change would be if the agreement she had with Quint was discovered, or if she slipped up.
Amara had practiced her story a few times on the way over — simple business meeting with a potential shipping representative to secure low rates for the farmers she was helping. It wasn’t unreasonable that such an important meeting would be held at the Forsythia.
“Hey, baby.” Raneesha’s voice was hushed, but her smile only grew wider as her daughter made her way to the front door. “I’m so glad you called. It’s been too long since little Hampton has visited Grandma.”
Amara returned the smile as well as she could. “What? Two days? Ha!”
“Two days too many,” Raneesha countered.
“You only have Sundays off, and you’ve been over at my place after work how many times this week?”
Raneesha leaned down and took Hampton’s tiny hand in her own, sighing softly in satisfaction and pride. “Amara, he’s such a beautiful, little baby. He’s gonna be a real ladies man when he grows up, I bet.”
Amara cleared her throat softly and motioned with her head toward the house. “Can we head on in? The traffic’s getting kinda loud, and I don’t want to wake him up yet. You know I can’t stand to say goodbye to those beautiful baby blue eyes.”
“Oh, trust me, I know exactly what you mean.” Raneesha stood and waved Amara in, closing the door gently behind them.
The house smelled as it always had, from Amara’s earliest memories on. The fresh, bright scent of eucalyptus filled the air, and she couldn’t help breathing in deeply every time she stepped inside.
For a woman who worked as much as she did, Raneesha’s house was kept absolutely immaculate. Without any husband or boyfriend to speak of, she lived alone in the three-bedroom home. Amara’s room remained decorated as it was when she left for college, and the third room had recently been converted into a playroom and bedroom for Hampton.
Raneesha painted the room blue herself when she found out Amara was having a boy, and slowly added toys and decorations for the room in secret as the birth approached. Only when she was done did she reveal it to Amara.
It made Amara feel extremely uncomfortable. Her mother had known that Amara planned on giving Hampton up to an adoptive couple, and had been absolutely heartbroken when Amara told her she’d made up her mind. Yet Raneesha made the room for Hampton anyway. It was eerie how things had worked out.
Amara walked quietly, her heels clicking lightly against the polished wood floors, echoing through the living room and adjoining dining room. She felt Raneesha’s hand at her back as she leaned over to see Hampton again, absolutely beaming with pride.
“Let me get him on upstairs in his crib, honey. He’ll make it known when he’s done sleeping. He always does, at the top of his tiny little lungs.” She chuckled good-naturedly as she unbuckled Hampton and took him upstairs.
“Thanks, Momma.” Amara made her way to the living room, her hands clasped lightly behind her back.
How would her mother take it, learning that her daughter was a surrogate for some single man’s child? It didn’t feel good to lie to her, but Amara rationalized that it was the best for everyone, considering that Quint had been presumed dead.
Her maternity leave was set to come to an end soon, and she’d have to start leaving Hampton with a sitter during the week — a thought that filled her with unease. She couldn’t even stand the thought of leaving him with his real father, let alone some stranger, no matter how qualified or experienced they might be. She’d heard plenty about the protective instincts of a mother, but they still took her by surprise.
The experience made a lot of the things Raneesha went through all the more relatable and understandable. She had always been confused about why her mother was so overprotective of her when she was growing up.
Everyone from kindergarten playmates to high school friends were subject to Raneesha’s scrutiny, though she never stopped Amara from associating with anyone. Amara liked to think it was because she made good choices where friends were concerned, but it wasn’t entirely true. She’d made a few missteps along the way, Frederik chief among them.
The one constant in her life had been Kari. They shared absolutely everything, and each spent nearly as much time at the other’s house as they did at their own. Kari helped Amara, shy and almost skittish by nature, to let go of her anxieties about herself and open up to new people. And Amara kept Kari tethered to reality, providing a stable base and security.
While other people had come and gone, Kari was never far away. She’d even turned down a teaching position at a prestigious art school upstate to stick around their shared hometown. The two women enjoyed teaching at the university together.
Kari always said she never had time for kids, though she always wanted them. Their little inside joke was that Kari would be the one with a giant brood of creative, gifted kids, and Amara would end up with one grumpy cat and a garden bigger than her house.