Beautiful Chaos (Caster Chronicles 3)

She didn’t look at me, and I didn’t look at her. When she finally spoke, she looked up into the blazing sun, instead of at me. That’s how much she didn’t want to say it to my face. “It’s hard for me, you know? I find myself thinking about you, things I want to tell you, things I think are funny or odd, but you aren’t there.”

I wanted to drop Marian’s mail and bolt down the steps.

Instead, I took a deep breath. “I know. The rest of us are all still together, and you’re alone. After everything we went through, we bailed on you. It sucks.” I finally said it. It had been bothering me since the day we came home to Gatlin, the day Liv disappeared into the Tunnels with Macon.

“I have Macon. He’s been wonderful to me, almost like a father.” She twisted the bits of string that were always tied to her wrist. “But I miss you and Marian, and not being able to talk to either of you is horrible, actually. I don’t want to get her into any more trouble. But it’s like being told you have to give up ice cream, or prawn crisps, or Ovaltine.”

“I know. I’m sorry it’s all so weird.” What was weird was this conversation. It was so much like Liv to be the one brave enough to have it.

She looked sideways at me, and half smiled. “I was thinking, after I saw you yesterday. It’s not like I can’t speak to you without trying to kiss you. You’re not that irresistible.”

“Tell me about it.”

“I wish I could print up a sign and tape it to my forehead. I OFFICIALLY DO NOT WANT TO KISS ETHAN WATE. NOW PLEASE LET ME BE FRIENDS WITH HIM.”

“Maybe we could make T-shirts that say PLATONIC.”

“Or NOT DATING.”

“UNATTRACTED.”

Liv took the returned letter out of the pile with a sigh. “This was me feeling sorry for myself a few weeks ago. I wrote home and asked if they’d have me back.”

I realized I knew next to nothing about Liv’s family. “Home home? Your family?”

“Just my mother. My father’s long gone. You know, the glamorous life of a theoretical physicist. But no, this was a feeble attempt to get her to send me to Oxford, actually. I turned the university down to come here. And it seemed like it was time for me to go, or at least it did then.”

“And now?” I didn’t want her to leave.

“Now I feel like I can’t leave Marian until this whole mess is sorted out.”

I nodded, picking at my shoelaces. “I’d be happy if she would just come out of her house.” But I didn’t want to think about the future she might be facing if she did.

“I know. She isn’t at the library either. Maybe she needs some time.” Of course, Liv had been making the same rounds I had. We were so alike, in more ways than one. More than being the only Mortals in the equation.

“You know, you were pretty brave back there in the library.”

She smiled. “Wasn’t it amazing? I was quite proud. Then I got in bed and cried for about ten hours straight.”

“I don’t blame you. It was hard-core.” And she’d only seen the half of it. The Far Keep was so much worse.

“Last night—” I started in, just as she said, “You know, I have to go—”

My timing was off, as usual, and our sentences tripped over each other. We sat there for a minute while the awkwardness set in. Still, I couldn’t bring myself to leave.

She stood up, brushing off her shorts. “I’m glad we had a chance to catch up.”

“Me, too.”

As she walked down the carefully kept path that led to Marian’s gate, I had an idea. Not a perfect idea, but a decent one.

“Wait up.” I pulled a folded orange flyer out of my pocket. “Take it.”

Liv unfolded it. “What’s this?”

“An invitation to Savannah Snow’s party, after the basketball game against Summerville on Saturday night. It’s the hottest ticket in town.” That was hard to say with a straight face.

“How did you and Lena get invited to a party at Savannah’s house?”