I have no access to any kind of medical care, and I know how many things could go wrong. What if I can’t get the proper nutrition, and the baby is born with a defect of some sort? Would Ehd want to get rid of it if it weren’t perfect, leave it out in the wild for some ravenous animal to find it and drag it away?
Another wave of nausea comes over me.
This can’t be happening. None of this can be happening.
I close my eyes tightly, willing myself to wake up from this horrible nightmare, but it doesn’t work. As my stomach churns again, I cover my hand with my mouth and rush out of the cave. I hear Ehd come up behind me, grunting his concerns as he holds onto my hair, and I vomit into the ravine.
As soon as my stomach is empty, I feel better. Ehd picks me up, cradling me in his arms as he returns me to the cave. He sits near the fire and holds me on his lap until I feel better.
The next day, it happens all over again. Ehd refuses to leave my side as I continue to get sick every morning. He makes me lie down close to the fire as he cooks our meals and tends to the flames. He checks on me constantly, and I wonder if he will drive me mad.
“Ehd?” I call out to him, and he startles slightly, the sound of his name waking him up.
“Luffs!” he replies, and the sound makes me smile.
I take his hand and place it on top of my stomach.
“I’m pregnant, Ehd,” I tell him. “We’re going to have a baby. I have no idea if you even know about such things, and I’m rather terrified by the whole idea, but there is nothing I can do at this point.”
As if he actually understands my words, Ehd’s eyes go wide. He stares at his hand on my belly in awe. A moment later, he looks up at me, says my name, and breaks out into a glorio
us smile. He rises up on his knees and lays me down on the grass mat near the fire. Then he takes my belly in both hands and runs his nose over my stomach.
Tears fill my eyes.
Somehow, he knows. He understands this basic, primal state of being. He knows what is to come, and he is positively thrilled.
I, however, am positively terrified, but Ehd’s gleeful reaction warms my heart despite my dread.
Maybe this isn’t such a bad thing. Maybe everything will be all right.
Chapter 8
“Da, da, da, da, da, da!” Lee holds out his chubby fists until Ehd picks him up.
“That’s right!” I say as I stroke the baby’s cheek, warmed by the late summer sun. “That’s your daddy!”
Lee continues to repeat the sound, and Ehd narrows his eyes at his son and then at me. I try to contain a smile. I know Ehd doesn’t care for the sound of Lee’s babble or my talking, but I’m thrilled that our son seems to be verbal. Sheila, or “Lah,” as Ehd calls her, hadn’t been old enough to start making sounds before she came down with that fever, and I was always worried our children would be as silent as my caveman.
I love Ehd, but I need someone else to talk to me. Before Lee came along, I had begun to forget some words from lack of use. I was afraid I might lose my own ability to communicate verbally if I didn’t keep yakking constantly, but yakking to yourself has its own issues. I’m afraid I’ll eventually lose my mind.
Lee squints as Ehd holds him up in the bright sunlight, giggling when Ehd spins around with him.
Thinking about Lah brings a tear to my eye. I still think about her all the time though it has been a long, long time since my father appeared in the field and took her away for treatment. Ehd had been devastated, and it killed me that I had no way to make him understand.
Lah was going to die from her illness. If my father hadn’t found us when he did, she wouldn’t have made it another night. She needed antibiotics and proper medical treatment, which is why my father took her back with him.
I could have gone with her. I could have returned to my own time and place with my daughter, but I didn’t. If I had, what would have happened to Ehd? Lah would have my parents to care for her and make her well, but if I returned with her, Ehd would have no one.
He would have died; I’m sure of that. As it was, I thought Ehd might die of heartbreak when my father left, taking Lah with him.
So, I decided to stay. I stayed with my caveman.
Besides, I’ve known my fate since the day Ehd broke that clay plate. I know I’m going to die here, wrapped in Ehd’s arms. Someday, thousands of years from now, my mother will find our remains in the cave where we now live. I’ve made peace with that.
Lee begins to fuss, and Ehd brings him over to lay him down in my lap to nurse. Lee grabs at my boob and suckles, his little hand opening and closing as his eyelids begin to droop.
Ehd basks in the sunlight beside us as birds call overhead. I smile at him.