The Poison Belt (Professor Challenger 2)

"Your habits, sir, have not mended in these three years," said Summerlee,shaking his head. "I also did not fail to observe your strange mannerthe moment we met. You need not waste your sympathy, Lord John. Thesetears are purely alcoholic. The man has been drinking. By the way, LordJohn, I called you a coxcomb just now, which was perhaps unduly severe.But the word reminds me of a small accomplishment, trivial but amusing,which I used to possess. You know me as the austere man of science. Canyou believe that I once had a well-deserved reputation in severalnurseries as a farmyard imitator? Perhaps I can help you to pass thetime in a pleasant way. Would it amuse you to hear me crow like a cock?"

"No, sir," said Lord John, who was still greatly offended, "it would_not_ amuse me."

"My imitation of the clucking hen who had just laid an egg was alsoconsidered rather above the average. Might I venture?"

"No, sir, no--certainly not."

But in spite of this earnest prohibition, Professo

r Summerlee laid downhis pipe and for the rest of our journey he entertained--or failed toentertain--us by a succession of bird and animal cries which seemed soabsurd that my tears were suddenly changed into boisterous laughter,which must have become quite hysterical as I sat opposite this graveProfessor and saw him--or rather heard him--in the character of theuproarious rooster or the puppy whose tail had been trodden upon. OnceLord John passed across his newspaper, upon the margin of which he hadwritten in pencil, "Poor devil! Mad as a hatter." No doubt it was veryeccentric, and yet the performance struck me as extraordinarily cleverand amusing.

Whilst this was going on, Lord John leaned forward and told me someinterminable story about a buffalo and an Indian rajah which seemed to meto have neither beginning nor end. Professor Summerlee had just begun tochirrup like a canary, and Lord John to get to the climax of his story,when the train drew up at Jarvis Brook, which had been given us as thestation for Rotherfield.

And there was Challenger to meet us. His appearance was glorious. Notall the turkey-cocks in creation could match the slow, high-steppingdignity with which he paraded his own railway station and the benignantsmile of condescending encouragement with which he regarded everybodyaround him. If he had changed in anything since the days of old, it wasthat his points had become accentuated. The huge head and broad sweep offorehead, with its plastered lock of black hair, seemed even greater thanbefore. His black beard poured forward in a more impressive cascade, andhis clear grey eyes, with their insolent and sardonic eyelids, were evenmore masterful than of yore.

He gave me the amused hand-shake and encouraging smile which the headmaster bestows upon the small boy, and, having greeted the others andhelped to collect their bags and their cylinders of oxygen, he stowed usand them away in a large motor-car which was driven by the same impassiveAustin, the man of few words, whom I had seen in the character of butlerupon the occasion of my first eventful visit to the Professor. Ourjourney led us up a winding hill through beautiful country. I sat infront with the chauffeur, but behind me my three comrades seemed to me tobe all talking together. Lord John was still struggling with his buffalostory, so far as I could make out, while once again I heard, as of old,the deep rumble of Challenger and the insistent accents of Summerlee astheir brains locked in high and fierce scientific debate. SuddenlyAustin slanted his mahogany face toward me without taking his eyes fromhis steering-wheel.

"I'm under notice," said he.

"Dear me!" said I.

Everything seemed strange to-day. Everyone said queer, unexpectedthings. It was like a dream.

"It's forty-seven times," said Austin reflectively.

"When do you go?" I asked, for want of some better observation.

"I don't go," said Austin.

The conversation seemed to have ended there, but presently he came backto it.

"If I was to go, who would look after 'im?" He jerked his head towardhis master. "Who would 'e get to serve 'im?"

"Someone else," I suggested lamely.

"Not 'e. No one would stay a week. If I was to go, that 'ouse would rundown like a watch with the mainspring out. I'm telling you becauseyou're 'is friend, and you ought to know. If I was to take 'im at 'isword--but there, I wouldn't have the 'eart. 'E and the missus would belike two babes left out in a bundle. I'm just everything. And then 'egoes and gives me notice."

"Why would no one stay?" I asked.

"Well, they wouldn't make allowances, same as I do. 'E's a very cleverman, the master--so clever that 'e's clean balmy sometimes. I've seen'im right off 'is onion, and no error. Well, look what 'e did thismorning."

"What did he do?"

Austin bent over to me.

"'E bit the 'ousekeeper," said he in a hoarse whisper.

"Bit her?"

"Yes, sir. Bit 'er on the leg. I saw 'er with my own eyes startin' amarathon from the 'all-door."

"Good gracious!"

"So you'd say, sir, if you could see some of the goings on. 'E don'tmake friends with the neighbors. There's some of them thinks that when'e was up among those monsters you wrote about, it was just ''Ome, Sweet'Ome' for the master, and 'e was never in fitter company. That's what_they_ say. But I've served 'im ten years, and I'm fond of 'im, and,mind you, 'e's a great man, when all's said an' done, and it's an honorto serve 'im. But 'e does try one cruel at times. Now look at that,sir. That ain't what you might call old-fashioned 'ospitality, is itnow? Just you read it for yourself."

The car on its lowest speed had ground its way up a steep, curvingascent. At the corner a notice-board peered over a well-clipped hedge.As Austin said, it was not difficult to read, for the words were few andarresting:--

+---------------------------------------+ | WARNING. | | ---- | | Visitors, Pressmen, and Mendicants | | are not encouraged. | | | | G. E. CHALLENGER. | +---------------------------------------+