Outnumbered

It’s a soft kiss. It’s close-mouthed, warm, and gentle. She tightens her grip around my waist, so I do the same to her shoulder. I’m still holding my glass in my other hand, but there’s no way I can put it down without breaking our contact, so I don’t even try.

I can taste the whiskey on her lips. It’s sweet and makes me want to open my mouth and devour her, but I don’t. I barely move except to return the pressure against her mouth. When she pulls back, I open my eyes slowly to find Seri staring at me. All of a sudden, her face goes flush.

“I’m sorry,” she says quickly as she pulls away a little more. “I probably shouldn’t have done that.”

“I didn’t mind.” It’s an idiotic thing to say, but I can’t take it back now.

“You sure?” she asks softly.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” As I try to think of something to add to that, Solo climbs into my lap, crawls up my chest, and then digs his claws into Seri’s arm as he howls.

“I think Solo is jealous,” Seri says with a grin.

The transition is jolting. Apparently, we’re going to change the subject and just forget the kiss happened as well. Fine with me. If I can ignore that we had sex, I can certainly ignore that we just kissed.

“I think he’s hungry.”

“You’re so good with him,” Seri says when I get the milk and bottle ready and place Solo on my lap for his dinner. “Have you had other cats?”

“None,” I tell her. “I never even considered owning a pet before and wasn’t so sure I wanted this one. If I’d found him closer to town, I probably would have found someplace else for him to live.”

“What about now? When the weather is better, will you get rid of him?”

“No, I don’t think so.” I rub the kitten’s belly. “I’m getting used to him being here, and he doesn’t take up much room.”

“Not like me, huh?” She chuckles but then goes quiet. She looks away for a minute before finally turning back to me. “Hopefully I’m not too bad.”

“I haven’t kicked you out yet.”

“I appreciate that.”

“You do ask a lot of question though.” I finish feeding the kitten and watch him make his way back to his box for a good post-feeding snooze.

“We said we were going to try to get along,” Seri says, reminding me of our previous conversation. “Hard to get to know each other if you don’t answer any questions. You told me about finding Solo but not a lot else.”

“I suppose.” I clean up the milk and settle back on the floor beside Seri. “I’m not used to talking about myself.”

“I get the idea you aren’t used to talking at all,” she says. “But it hasn’t been all that bad, has it?”

“I guess not.” I shrug my shoulders again. Talking about talking about stuff is something I generally find unnerving though I have to admit that it’s getting a little easier.

“Maybe you could tell me why you decided to live out here by yourself?”

“I’m not a people person.”

“I’ve gathered as much,” she says, “but why not?”

If I had any social skills, I would probably be able to come up with a reasonable answer, but I don’t and I can’t. I feel like I’m leaning over the edge of a skyscraper while holding onto a thin piece of twine.

“I had a pretty fucked up childhood.”

“I figured as much,” she says quietly.

“I don’t want to talk about that though.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” she says quietly. “There has to be something else you’re willing to tell me.”

I open my mouth, but without anything to actually say, I can offer nothing but silence. I close my mouth and grab my whiskey glass. Only a couple of sips are left, and instead of drinking, I just swirl the liquid around.