“I don’t buy it.” I lean forward, making it harder for Netti to avoid looking at me. “There’s more to it than that. What do you think is going to happen if Seri finds out about you or about I
ris?”
Netti closes her eyes and grits her teeth.
“You want me to protect you,” I say. “You want me to keep all of you safe. How can I do that when I don’t understand?”
“We’re afraid,” Netti says quietly as she opens her eyes and finally looks at me. “If we tell you, you might not like what you hear. It is a risk. We don’t like risks.”
“You don’t have to be afraid,” I tell her, “not of me. Hearing the truth doesn’t mean I’m going to make you leave. I don’t want you to leave. Knowing the truth isn’t going to change how I feel about you.”
Netti tilts her head and stares at me intently.
“Do you mean that?” she asks. “How can you be sure? We might tell you something you don’t want to hear.”
“Well,” I say as I hold out my hand and start counting on my fingers, “I already know you have some whack-job coming after you. You’ve been running from him all this time without warning me. You used to sell drugs. You lied about who is alive and who isn’t, and you are great at avoiding the truth by switching personalities. Did I forget anything? Oh yeah, there are at least three of you living in there. Do you really think whatever you have to say is going to turn me away, given what I already know?”
Netti stiffens and stares into the fire. When she doesn’t respond, I reach over and take her hand.
“Can you please tell me what I want to know? I swear, I won’t tell you to leave.”
“All right,” she finally says with a sigh. “I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.”
Chapter 26
I light a few more candles and get myself a glass of whiskey while Netti collects her thoughts. I don’t want another hangover, but I have a feeling I’m going to need at least one glass. I offer one to Netti, but she shakes her head.
I sit down in front of her and set my glass off to the side. I light a cigarette and look at her face, trying to be patient.
“I’m not sure where to start,” Netti says. “Maybe you should ask a specific question.”
“How about when all of this started? When did Iris stop being just Iris?”
“When we were very young,” Netti says. “Seri was very sick as a child. Did you know that?”
“No. What was wrong with her?”
“When she was only two, Seri had a terrible case of the measles though she had been vaccinated. There was an outbreak at her daycare. Iris doesn’t really remember it, but I do. Seri had to be rushed to the hospital in the middle of the night, and an elderly aunt came to the hospital to care for Iris. Iris and the aunt bought a green teddy bear in the gift shop for Iris to give to her sister, but the doctor said Iris was too young to visit. The aunt took her home, and there was very little to occupy Iris’s time. She worried about her sister, so she began to talk to the teddy bear.
“As Iris talked to the stuffed animal, her mind formed the voice of her sister to respond to her inquiries. Serenity was still too young to speak more than a few words, but in Iris’s mind, she had whole conversations with her sister. Little Netti developed a mind of her own.”
“That’s how you began. That’s why you are called Netti, because that’s what Iris called her baby sister.”
“Yes.”
“But Seri got better.”
“She was in the hospital for a long time, but yes. She eventually recovered and came home.”
“But you were already inside of Iris.”
“Yes, but I was silent. Iris had her real sister to talk to, and I was no longer needed. I waited though. I waited and waited for her to need me again. I waited a very long time.”
“So Iris was the first one,” I say. “She is the primary personality.”
Netti stares at the floor and doesn’t respond.
“The body was originally Iris,” Netti finally says, “but she’s not anymore. She is Seri.”