Smitten

Louise wasn’t the kind of mom who constantly nagged her kids and their friends. In fact, it was the first time I’d ever seen her looking anything but relaxed and happy. And so, as she stood there in front of me, looking disappointed in me, I remember being super bummed. I adored that gorgeous woman—and not as a maternal figure, to be clear. No, I desired her in a highly carnal way. Plus, I genuinely liked her, too—and, therefore, hated the sensation of disappointing her.

I distinctly remember thinking in that moment, “Well, shit, Mrs. Morgan, drinking Mountain Dew can’t be any worse for my ‘growing body’ than the big fat blunt I smoked with your son today after school.” But, of course, I didn’t say that to the woman I wanted to impress. I loved her son dearly and would have died before ratting him out. So, all things considered, I responded by going mea culpa on that gorgeous woman’s ass. I apologized profusely, without dragging Colin into the muck with me, and even went so far as to swear I’d “never” disappoint her again.

“Colin?” I say. He’s been looking out the window of Clive’s office. “Ready to move on?”

Colin returns his attention to the group. And by the look on his face, it’s clear he’s now worked through his irritation and is ready to move on—to turn the page on whatever stupid purchases he was hoping to make with that easy two mill.

“It’s fine,” Colin says on an exhale. “As much as I’d enjoy watching Momma Lou kick Fish’s ass again, I’m sure she’d also kick my ass this time. And I like her thinking I’m Dax’s ‘good influence’ friend while Fish is the bad one.”

We all chuckle at that bit of ass-backwards ridiculousness. Also, at Colin’s implicit confirmation that any sort of genuine schism between the three of us has, once again, been averted.

“Okie doke,” Clive says. “I’ll tell Pepsi the answer is no.” If Clive is disappointed to miss out on his commission, he’s not showing it. He returns to his laptop, his face businesslike and neutral, and says, “Two more quick items, guys, before you head to Reed’s. First, the Seattle Tourism Bureau. They want you guys to shoot a commercial. The money would be nominal. You’d probably want to donate it to a local food bank or whatever. But you’d be in great company. Dave Grohl did a similar spot for them a few years ago.”

Ding, ding. He’s said the magic words. Dave Grohl. He’s one of our idols. A musical god, as far as we’re concerned.

All three of us quickly say we’re in, and Clive runs through the details. Dax mentions he and his wife, Violet, are coincidentally flying home next weekend for his niece’s birthday party, so Clive says he’ll try to arrange the shoot in Seattle for the end of this coming week for ease of logistics.

“That’s great timing for me,” I say. “It’s my mom’s birthday on Saturday. I wasn’t planning to fly up to see her for it, but if we’re going to be in Seattle for that spot, anyway, I’ll stay the whole weekend and take Mom out to dinner on her big day.” I look at Dax. “Can I come to Baby Claire’s birthday barbecue on Sunday?”

“Of course,” Dax says. “My whole family will be there. They’ll be stoked to see you.” He turns to Colin. “You should come, too, man. It’s been forever since all three of us have hung out with my entire family.”

Colin asks, “Is the entire ‘LA Branch’ of the family flying up to Seattle for the weekend?” It’s a reference to Dax and Violet, of course, plus, Dax’s older brother, Keane, and his wife, and Keane’s lifelong best friend, Zander, who’s an honorary Morgan, every bit as much as Colin and me.

“I’m not sure about everyone’s plans,” Dax admits. “But when they find out all three of us will be at the party, I’m sure they’ll get their asses up to Seattle, too.”

“Okay, last thing, guys,” Clive interjects, leaning his forearms onto his large desk. “I’ve received an interesting individual offer for Colin—something I wanted to tell him about when all three of you were present.”

Dax, Colin, and I look at each other, intrigued. Clive always has individual offers for Daxy, almost all of which he declines. But Clive never has anything specifically for Colin or me. Plus, he rarely tells Daxy about his individual offers when Colin and I are present.

Clive steeples his fingers. “Remember that interview you guys did on German TV at the end of the last tour?” He looks at Dax and me. “The one where you two told that funny story about Colin’s latest nickname?”

Of course, we remember. Yes, we were stoned during that interview, admittedly, but it wasn’t all that long ago, and it was highly memorable. A particularly funny interview, like Clive mentioned.