Smitten

Colin furrows his brow. “Umm, actually . . . I think you’re misreading me. I’m not freaking out about what you’re saying. I’m panicking because I turned down an offer yesterday—something really exciting Clive called me about—and I’m suddenly hoping to God it’s not too late to call them back and tell them yes.”

We all say some variation of “What’s the offer?”

Colin says, “The Calvin Klein thing opened the floodgates for me, guys. I’ve never been inundated with side offers like this before. Modeling, acting. It’s been crazy. The offer I’m talking about is a small role in a war movie. I’d be a dumb jock soldier who gets blown up by a grenade midway through. It’s not a huge role, but it’d be awesome to do it. I didn’t think I could because our touring schedule conflicts with the filming schedule. But if we’re going to change things up . . .”

The room explodes with excitement for him. Encouragement. Questions. All of which results in Colin picking up the phone and calling Clive to tell him he wants the job.

When Colin gets off his call with Clive, he’s lit up. He says, “Clive didn’t even answer them yet! He said he’ll call them right now and tell them yes.” Colin runs his hand through his dark hair, looking elated. “This is gonna be so fucking cool.”

“Goat hug,” I say. And, without hesitation, Dax, Colin, and I get up from our various seats and perform a three-way huddle, the same one we always do backstage before every show. To my surprise, though, it’s Colin who makes the first little goat sound. He’s never the first. In fact, he’s made it clear he thinks the way Daxy and I make goat sounds in our pre-show huddles is a bit stupid, even though he always goes along with it. It’s a small gesture for him to start the ritual, but a meaningful one. One that doesn’t need to be explained. Of course, Dax and I echo his little “Maaa!” with similar ones of our own, until we all wind up laughing and wiping our eyes.

“Aw, look at our herd of little baby goats,” Keane says to his best friend. “They’ve grown into such fine young men, right before our eyes.”

Zander chuckles. “They sure have. I feel like a proud poppa.”

We three Goats break apart, all of us still wiping our eyes.

“Onward,” Dax says, his gaze bouncing between mine and Colin’s.

“Onward,” we echo.

It’s what Dax always says whenever something doesn’t go according to plan, or there’s a sense that we’re turning some kind of momentous page in our lives. But this time, when Dax says the word, it feels particularly poignant.

Onward.

Yes.

The future is ours to design. And nobody else’s.

And speaking for myself, my future will always include me doing anything for Alessandra. Making her happiness my top priority—even above my own. No matter what happens, I now understand my love for Alessandra is everything to me. Literally. And I’ll never pick anything or anyone above her, again.

Thirty-Four

Fish

“Hello, gentlemen,” Reed says to Dax, Colin, and me as we file into his spacious office.

We take seats in a corner and make small talk about Reed’s engagement, his recent luxury vacation, the progress on our album. But soon, it’s clear Reed is a busy dude and we should get to the point.

Dax takes the lead, as agreed in advance among the three of us. “So, Reed. We asked for this meeting today because we’ve decided we want to slow down a bit. We need some additional time to complete our album. Which means we also need to reschedule the tour. Push it back by at least four months.”

Reed is clearly floored. But since he’s a pro at crisis management, he calmly says, “Why? From the rough mixes I’ve heard so far, it sounds like you’re right on target with the album.”

“The issue isn’t whether we can meet current deadlines,” Dax explains. “It’s that we want to slow down to make room for other things. Speaking for myself, I want to have more time to chill with my family. I’ve talked about all of this with Violet, of course, and she wholeheartedly agrees slowing down would be the best thing for Jackson and our family.”

Reed presses his lips together. His sister’s opinion has always meant the world to him.

Colin interjects, “Fish and I also have side projects we want to jump into for a bit, too. So, slowing down is in everyone’s interest. Not just Daxy’s.”

“Side projects?” Reed says.

Colin looks at me, asking if he should speak first. And I motion like I’m giving him the floor, simply because what I have to say will take this conversation into an entirely new direction.

Colin says, “I’ve had quite a few modeling and acting offers recently. In particular, there’s a small movie role I’m excited to take. Originally, I didn’t think I could do it because of our current tour schedule. But I’ve now told the director I can do it.”