“So are you,” I say. And I’m telling the truth. He’s so beautiful he’s practically glowing against the darkness of my tent.
“Was that good for you?”
I chuckle, assuming he’s making a joke.
“Can I tell you something crazy?” he whispers. “That was my first time.”
I stare in shock.
“And it was fucking awesome,” he adds. “Thank you.”
“You’re serious?” I ask.
“Dead serious.”
“Your first time in the States, you mean?”
“My first time ever.”
“But how is that possible? You look like a god.”
“Don’t judge a book by its cover. Before I came to the States, I had a longtime girlfriend. We were saving ourselves for marriage. Well, she was, so I went along with it. I had no particular desire to do it, to be honest, but her ‘virtue’ mattered to her a lot, so I said I’d wait. I honestly thought I was gonna marry her one day, so I wanted to respect her.”
“Wow.”
“As it turned out, my girlfriend and I broke up a couple nights before I came to the States. She wanted me to swear I’d remain faithful to her while I was here, that I wouldn’t even kiss anyone else the whole time—wouldn’t even flirt with anyone else. And in that moment, I realized I couldn’t make that promise. So I broke it off. I figured it was better to be honest with her upfront, even if it broke her heart, than even potentially cheat on her when I was away.”
My heart skips a beat. “Absolutely,” I say. “But what took you so long to pull the trigger? You’ve been here a couple months, haven’t you? Why haven’t you had sex before now? You must have had ample opportunity.”
Ben shrugs. “It’s a bit daunting, doing it for the first time. I wanted to do it with the right person. I’m a bit on the shy side, if you haven’t noticed. Making the first move isn’t my strong suit. I’m working on that. Taking an acting class to force myself out of my comfort zone. But it doesn’t come naturally for me to subject myself to potential rejection.”
“Rejection? Who’d ever reject you? Ben, you’re gorgeous.”
He shrugs.
“Well, don’t worry about a thing, Shy Boy,” I say, stroking his chestnut locks. “You were amazing. I got off hard, if you didn’t notice. If anything, your shyness has been a turn-on for me. I’ve always been a sucker for the strong, silent type.”
“Yeah?” He nuzzles my nose, smiling. “How big a sucker? Big enough to have another go with me?”
I reach down and touch him and, yep, he’s hard as a stone. “Do you have another condom?”
“I brought three, as a matter of fact.”
“Three? Why on earth would a virgin bring three condoms on a camping trip with his buddies?”
“Because Carter told me you were joining the trip at the last minute and that you’re really into sex, especially with younger guys. He said I should bring a shitload of condoms in case you happen to pick me.”
Blood rushes into my face in a torrent. My brother knows everything about me?
“What?” Ben asks, apparently reacting to my stiff body language.
“What else did Carter tell you about me?”
“Not a whole lot. He said you’re really into yoga and hiking. He said you teach yoga part-time while going to school full-time and that—”
“No, no, not stuff like that. What did Carter tell you about me being really into sex? Did he tell you any specific stories he’s heard about me? Any rumors?”
“Shit. I’m sorry if I’ve said something wrong. I didn’t mean to—”
“Ben, what did Carter say about me?”
“Not a lot. He just said that you were legendary in high school. That was his word, not mine: legendary. He said you’ve always been super picky about the guys you hook up with—which, by the way, isn’t a surprise to me, given how hot you are—but that when you choose someone, the guy always feels like he won the lottery.”
“What else?”
He pauses. “He said the last two years in college you’ve left ‘a trail of happy dicks and broken hearts’ in your wake.”
I cringe. Oh my God. My brain feels like it’s melting. I open and close my mouth, trying to process.
“I’m sorry if I’ve said something wrong. I assumed you and Carter had talked about this stuff a million times.”
My heart is in my mouth. “No. I talk to my best friend about stuff like this and nobody else. Least of all my little brother. It’s nobody’s business but my own.”
“Absolutely. Of course. Don’t worry, I won’t tell a soul about tonight, if that’s what you want. Not even Carter.”
“Yeah, right. You won’t tell the brother who told you to bring condoms that his sister did, in fact, invite you to her tent?”
“If it would embarrass you for me to talk about it, then I won’t. Not with Carter or anyone else. If Carter asks, I’ll tell him I didn’t have the balls to make a move on you, and you didn’t make one, either.”