Rough (Wolf Ranch 1)

“She killed herself when I was in college. Looking back, I think my dad screwed her over, or she thought he did. Maybe it was a quick fling or a teenaged one-night stand. Whatever it was, it didn’t have the outcome she’d expected. People who have mental illness can often have some kind of snap, and I think that happened when she got pregnant with me. It’s possible, or most likely, her sick mind distorted what really happened over time.”

He slowed the truck and pulled over to the side of the road. It was a dirt backroad, and no one else was around. I turned to look at him as he shifted to face me, his forearm resting on the steering wheel. “You can’t believe it was your fault. Her death.”

I shook my head. “No, not at all. I just never knew her when she wasn’t depressed.”

“Obviously, you went to college, then medical school.”

I licked my lips and couldn’t look away from his piercing eyes. He wanted to know this, not only the good stuff, the fun stuff like butt plugs and phone sex, but the messy stuff like my family life.

“Being at home wasn’t all that great. Don’t get me wrong, I had friends and sleepovers and prom and stuff, but I pretty much hunkered down in my room. Studying was easy. I could get lost in it. I knew it was my way out. I got a full ride for undergrad, and I got loans for med school. That’s why I filled in at the arena. Extra cash pays off med school faster.”

“Why didn’t you go into mental health?”

I huffed out a laugh. “I grew up in it. Knew it wasn’t for me. Babies. That was my focus all along. If you analyzed me, you’d say I’m seeking to make a family because it was absent from my childhood.”

His gaze raked over me before he spoke. “There’s no shame in wanting a family. In wanting babies. Children. Homework. Sticky stuff on the floor you have no idea what it is. A tire swing. Children who know they’re loved.”

My chest ached with the desire for everything he said. I did want all of that, as if he’d made a checklist of things I envisioned my family being like. It sounded as if he knew what that was like.

“Is that how it was for you? Two parents you knew loved you? A tire swing?”

“Yeah, I had all that. Until I was twelve. I was lucky. I have Rob and Colton. You didn’t have any siblings to grow up with. To fight and bicker with. Annoy.”

I raised my hand, waved it in the air. “Actually, I have a half sister. Marina. She’s twenty-one. I only learned she existed two years ago. She did the DNA testing and found we were a match.”

“She’s not your mom’s.”

Shaking my head, I continued. “No, my dad. He was young, nineteen, when he had sex with my mom. He never knew about me. He married at twenty-eight and had Marina with his wife.”

“He didn’t tell you what happened?”

I pushed my glasses up my nose. “I don’t want to know. Would you want to know about how you were conceived?”

He looked horrified. “I see your point.”

“I’m not close with him. I’ve met him. I look like him. They live in southern California. I did my residency in Chicago. Our paths don’t cross.”

“But your sister?”

I couldn’t help but smile when thinking of Marina. “She’s great. Sweet. Definitely a little wilder than I am. We talk all the time. She’s in college for engineering. I’m… I’m glad I have her.”

He eyed me for a moment, then gave me a nod and put the truck in gear and back on our way.

We were quiet for a minute. “Boyd…” I bit my lip, knowing that I was asking a question that might upset him. “Um… what happened when you were twelve?”

He cleared his throat, clenched the steering wheel. “I guess it’s best you find out now. I’ve been clear from the start how much I want you. It’s pretty obvious I’m just a dumb jock, that you’re way outta my league. I was hoping maybe you could look past that, but this might change your mind about me.”

I frowned, felt apprehension and worry lodge in my belly.

“When I was twelve, I killed my parents.”

17

AUDREY

I stared at him as he turned onto a narrow road. I wondered if it was someone’s property or a service access for the National Forest. Either way, there was no one around for miles. His words had stunned me into silence and made me think all kinds of things. Murder? Had he run over them with a tractor?

“What do you mean you killed your parents?” I finally asked. With my window open, the breeze caught on my hair, and I tucked it back behind my ear.