He nods. When she walks away, he says, "Stop planning for the end, Caitlin." His voice is gruff but I catch a trace of vulnerability in his expression, and I suddenly regret all my doubt.
And he's right. I'm still planning the end because that's all I've known in relationships.
I step into him and nuzzle his neck. I kiss the skin above his collar.
He cradles my head with both hands. “I really like you, Caitlin.”
I beam at him. “Is that the same as love?”
He doesn’t move. I get the feeling he’s never said it before.
Neither have I, except to my brother.
He leans down and moves his lips across mine. “I think it is,” he murmurs.
Fireworks explode in my chest, my belly, the backs of my knees—everywhere.
He loves me. I don’t say it back. Not because it’s not true, only because… I still feel like I have to protect myself.
This man owns me. I give him my body, but I’m not sure about my soul yet. I’m especially not sure about my heart.
He controls so much. Maybe I just need one thing I can still hold back from him.
Chapter 10
Paolo
We take a limo from the Bellissimo to Alessia and Vlad’s mansion in Summerland North, the richest neighborhood in Vegas. I normally prefer to drive myself and would’ve just taken one of Nico’s expensive cars from the private garage, but I want to give Caitlin all the experiences. Spa treatments. Room service. Ziplining between rooftops. Roller coasters. She’s loved all of them. She drank too much last night and was queasy this morning, but perked right up after ordering everything on the room service menu.
Everything’s new to her and she’s not defensive about receiving any of it. She doesn’t try to pretend it’s not exciting, or that she doesn’t want it. She greets it all with this crazy, childish enthusiasm that keeps my dick hard and my chest warm.
After dinner last night, we saw one of our soldiers, Tony, escorting his girl Pepper Heart backstage before her performance. Caitlin went nuts when she saw the singer, and was over the moon when I called out to Tony for an introduction. She snapped at least a dozen selfies with Pepper, who was as sweet as pie about it.
I meant it when I said I loved her last night. I didn’t even feel vulnerable saying it, even though she didn’t say it back.
I don’t ever feel weak with her.
I know we have a long way to go. I’m not stupid enough to think good sex is enough to make a relationship work, and I also know the newness of money and power will wear off.
Right now, she’s gone silent, though. No bouncing or looking out the windows at everything.
“Hey,” I say. “What’s up?”
She looks at me, but her eyes are blank, like she’s far away. She shakes her head. This is a part of her—it’s why she believes she’s crazy. Why she turns to pain and pleasure to feel alive. What made her go dead?
“You have the same look you had after you spent the night in jail. You nervous about meeting my family?”
She nods, still remote.
I reach over and unbuckle the seatbelt and pull her onto my lap. “What do you need?” I slide my fingers between her legs. She’s in a mini-dress with nothing but a scrap of fabric over her pussy. I stroke gently and her head flops back on my shoulder.
“This.”
“Yeah?” I bite her ear. “You need pain, too? Or just pleasure?”
“Anything. It helps bring me back into my body.”
I want to ask her more. I’m pissed at myself for not finding out everything there is to know about her and her quirks before I expose her to situations that make her tap out.
I slip under the panties and stroke lightly until she gets wet. When she does, I increase the pressure, spreading her juices up to her clit and toying with the piercing.
“You know I’m not gonna let anyone mistreat you, right? These are my younger brothers. They would never fuck with me.”
She doesn’t answer, but she’s rocking her hips over my hardened cock, her pussy weeping for more.
“Caitlin?” I prompt when she doesn’t answer. I slip my fingers out of her panties and slap her pussy.
She moans her appreciation.
And then it hits me. Even though I’m going over there today to ask my brothers in person about her dad, it hadn’t dawned on me that she’s gonna be wondering if they did it.
I spank her pussy again, a dozen light quick slaps. “They didn’t kill your dad, Caitlin. They were here in Vegas at the time. Lo prometo—I promise.”
She whimpers and her back tightens like she’s holding in a sob.
Fuck. I’m an insensitive asshole for not realizing that’s why she was checking out.
Of course that would be too much for somebody to handle—going to meet her boyfriend’s family when they might be the ones who killed her father? Her loyalty between her father and me must be tearing her up inside.