“Yes, I got scared. Confused. I didn’t know what I wanted. And I didn’t think you’d want the baby—you told me you never wanted kids. And I didn’t know what I would do if you didn’t. I don’t know you well enough, Paolo. Would you force me into something? To abort it? Or if I kept it, would you call all the shots?”
I usually can’t read him at all, but I’m sure it’s grief that makes Paolo close his eyes and his shoulders sag.
“Fuck!” He balls his fists and shouts up to the sky. He thumps his forehead on the frame of the Range Rover.
Trevor appears behind him, but Paolo stays him with an outstretched finger. He doesn’t look from my face, though.
“I will never force you. And I know I have. I got you put in jail and I’m sorry for that—it was a mistake. I’ll make it up to you.
“Caitlin, I’m sorry you don’t know me well enough to feel safe. I’m shit at showing my feelings or even sharing my thoughts. But this is all you need to know: I’m your man. I may talk tough. I know I am tough. I like to be in charge and tell you how things are going to go. But bottom line, I’m your man. That means I have your back. I’m gonna protect you and make sure you’re happy, no matter what. So ultimately, doll? You call the shots. I’m gonna show up for you however you want. If you want to keep this baby, I will be the best fucking dad you could dream of. If you decide you can’t deal, I’ll be by your side through that, too. It’s your body, your life. You get to decide.”
Fresh tears drip down my cheeks. I’m utterly demolished by his words. No one’s ever showed up for me like this before. I’ve never had anyone I could count on except myself.
“I love you,” I whisper. The words are new to say. Each time lights a flame behind Paolo’s eyes.
I get a repeat of the kiss he gave me before, but shorter this time because I shiver.
“Let’s get out of here before we get snowed in.” He waves to Trevor and they both pile in the car.
When we reach the state highway, we pass my dad’s truck, stuck in the snow. Paolo drives by without comment. Neither Trevor nor I say a word.
He left us to fend for ourselves when we had no way to protect ourselves. He can find his own way out of his messes.
Paolo
A hot meal and the warm lodge does everybody good. Caitlin’s color returns and she gets a little life back in her. No one says much of anything until our plates are empty. Then Trevor puts down his fork and looks at Caitlin. “What the fuck.”
“I know, right?”
“Did you know he was alive?”
“Of course not,” Caitlin sputters.
“Was he at the cabin when you got there?” Trevor asks.
Caitlin shakes her head. “He showed up today, just a few minutes before you guys did. He had the nerve to ask me what I was doing there.”
“You’ve gotta be kidding me. And then he held a gun to your head.”
They both stare at each other for a moment as if shocked anew by what went down. “And my first thought was to protect Dad. I thought maybe this was all just his elaborate scheme to draw Dad out and kill him.” He tips his head in my direction. “Sorry, man.”
“No hard feelings. How’s the wrist?”
He pulls back his sleeve and reveals a bruise blooming on his pale skin.
Caitlin gasps. “What did you do?”
“I went for his gun.” Trevor rubs his wrist. “It’s fine. Thanks for not killing me.”
I sit back in my chair. “You have immunity.”
Caitlin’s eyes go soft and warm on me and it does something crazy to my chest. It tightens and expands it at the same time.
This woman… the things she does to me. Over the course of the last twenty-four hours I’ve been to hell and back thinking I might be losing her. I still don’t know if I’ve won her over yet.
“Did you know, Paolo? What was the thing you said about the Russians?” Caitlin asks.
“Yeah, I suspected. I’ve been asking around. Before your dad supposedly was killed by my family, he screwed over the Russians. Stole a semi-truck full of electronics he was supposed to fence for them. They stopped looking for him when they heard we killed him. And since I knew we didn’t do it, I figured it was a well-laid plan to disappear with a couple hundred grand. I just don’t understand how a man could leave his two kids behind with no one to take care of them.”
“And I stole from you thinking I was balancing the scales.” Caitlin winces. “Sorry, big man.”