I give the guy my full attention now, studying him, checking the name on his badge—John Badger.
“Badger Hardware,” I say, when the name comes to me. A locally-owned hardware store in Cicero, before Home Depot and Lowes put the small guys out of business. Actually, that store’s still there, a throwback to older times.
Good Cop’s face splits into a grin. “Yep. That’s my uncle’s place. It’s still around.”
“It sure is,” I say.
Good Cop’s phone rings and he answers it, stepping outside.
Bad Cop glowers at me.
I keep still.
Desiree’s pacing around the tiny apartment, still holding Jasper in her arms, picking up his clothes and toys and throwing them in a plastic bag. Every so often I hear her sniff, which completely guts me.
The kid, too, looks traumatized. He has a death grip on his mother’s neck, face tucked in like he doesn’t want to see any of what’s going on.
Good Cop comes back and addresses Desiree. “All right, I have confirmation of your story. Police records in Cook County show you have full custody of Jasper and the father abducted him from you. You are free to take him home.”
“Thank you.” Desiree glances in my direction without quite looking at me. “What about him?”
“He’s free to go, too.”
“Are you nuts?” Bad Cop snarls.
Good Cop holds his hand out to me and I shake it, relieved that for once, my family and my name won me a favor instead of lost it for me.
My dad did some things right.
He operated by a code of ethics, just outside the law. He made his own law.
But this isn’t a win, by any means. Desiree turns and walks out the door without ever meeting my eye and I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that we’re over.
Chapter 14
Desiree
I sleep in the back of Junior’s car, Jasper curled up in my lap. It’s not a peaceful sleep, it’s the kind I choose when I can’t deal with my thoughts and just need to escape them. I should be overjoyed at having Jasper back.
I am overjoyed.
Or I’m sure I will be tomorrow. But right now, it’s all too much emotion mixed together.
I wake up when we get into the city, as if my body was awake and knew where I was the whole time. It’s late—almost two in the morning. Jasper’s sweet face rests against my chest, his breath easy and soft.
“Junior, I need you to take me to my home,” I tell him.
Jasper stirs and I rub the back of his head like I did when he was a baby.
“Yeah.” That’s all he says. The distance between us is an ocean. We haven’t spoken the entire ride home.
He takes me to my apartment and opens up the door, reaching for Jasper and pulling him out and into his arms as I climb out.
My urge to snatch my baby back is strong, even though I know Junior means him no harm. Maybe it’s more that he seems too good a this. Too fatherly. Too familiar.
As if he knows it, he hands him to me the second I get out and reaches in for the plastic bag of Jasper’s stuff I collected from Abe’s place.
“Junior.” My voice sounds strangled and unnatural. “I really appreciate what you did for me—getting Jasper back. It means everything to me.” I swallow down the lump in my throat. Tears sting my eyes. “But I just need to be home with him now. So this is goodbye.”
Junior’s face is the same stony mask he’s worn since Indianapolis. It doesn’t change. He just nods and walks me up to the building. Takes my keys and opens the door, then leads the way up the stairs to my place and opens that door, too. He sets Jasper’s things inside the door, but doesn’t cross the threshold.
And then he pulls the door shut.
No touch or word. No goodbye.
Nothing.
It’s just... over.
I don’t know what I wanted, but I’m suddenly sobbing—heartbroken over the choice I made.
But it was the right one.
The only one I could make.
My world—raising my beautiful little boy—it can’t mix with Junior’s world. Not ever again.
Jasper will probably be forever scarred by what he saw back there. He will never forget the night I came for him and my “boyfriend” nearly killed his father.
If I want to raise my son right, I have to walk away from the powerful allure of Junior Tacone. Even if he is my personal hero.
I carry Jasper into my room and lay him on my bed.
My baby’s back. That should be enough.
That should definitely be enough.
I’m sure eventually this emptiness, this queasy panic bubbling up inside me will go away.
* * *
Junior
Letting Desiree go feels like taking my face to a grater. My entire body revolts. Every mile I drive away from her sends me into a deeper panic.
But I can’t go back. I won’t try to convince her to be with me.