“So, how are you liking your first week with Mayhem?”
“To be honest, I’m not digging it.”
I laugh as we head out of The Brothers’ RV, making our way to where the loud music is coming from. A fire pit is blazing in the middle with people seated in a circle.
I drink the rest of the alcohol and then make Saskia tell me where I can get more.
She takes a seat of her own, away from the crowd. When Killian tries to sit next to her, she moves. I watch and laugh as Killian sits there confused.
“Yo!” He nudges me as I drink my second glass and make my third. “What’s her deal? How have I never been able to lay a girl?”
“You won’t lay that one,” I answer, studying Saskia as she sits on a rock, peacefully okay with being alone and watching the fire.
“But whyyyyyy?” he groans like a child.
“Ew.” I slap him. “Stop that right now and go one night without fucking someone.”
He drops his lip and I know it’s supposed to look ridiculous, but because it’s Kill, it only looks slightly adorable. I say “slightly” because he’s also annoying. Once I’ve drunk my third glass and filled my fourth, ignoring the laughter behind me, I take a seat between Maya and Rose.
“Hello, ladies!”
Rose rolls her eyes. “You throwing shade at me since you have new friends?”
I shove her playfully. “Shut up. I am not.”
Rose giggles, taking a sip of her drink. “Damn. I so can’t wait for Christmas at the Axtons’.”
I drink two more and steal Maya’s vodka bottle, taking swigs out of that. “Please don’t say that. It gives me anxiety.”
Maya snatches the bottle back. “I need this more than you.”
My eyes go up to what she’s looking at. Killian now talking with Callan.
“Oh God…”
Maya shrugs. “It’s nothing I’m not used to.”
“What is up with you two anyway? I’m confused.”
She laughs, looking between my glass and me. “Because you’re drunk, or because of Killian and me?”
“Not sure.” I sink the rest of my drink. “Both, I think.”
“Well.” She exhales. “He and I have been best friends since we were babies. Inseparable, that’s us. Only we’re just friends. There was this one time when I was younger that we had sex. He wanted to be my first, and I wanted him to be my first, but after that, he shifted me back into the friendzone, and I him. He scares everyone off me, but I sit there and take him with everyone else.”
“Sounds like these boys have a pattern.”
Maya smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “Kill doesn’t. He just doesn’t care.”
“Yo! Perse!” Keaton waves me over with his big, burly, inked, demonic arm. I notice a lot of things about Keaton, and one is that he talks to no one. I mean no one. Except for The Brothers and Delila. He sneers at everyone else. I’m thankful I have never seen his feral side, because he’s scary enough to look at, and that five o’clock shadow is not helping.
“Yes, brother dearest.” I drop down beside him.
He shakes his head. “Wanna sing?”
My eyes go up to King, who’s sitting in a chair opposite us with his hoodie drawn. He has a bottle of whiskey dangling between his fingers, his dead eyes drawing all of the energy out of the room and throwing it into my chest.
“Sure!’ I answer recklessly.
He starts singing the opening to Billie Eilish’s “Ocean Eyes.” It throws me off because I wish he would have played something else, something with him singing too, not just me alone. I sing through the lyrics anyway, and when the chorus hits, I can’t help but find my eyes on King.
Everyone else disappears around us, and it’s just he and I and the crackle of electricity that’s passing between us. I don’t move, never leaving until the song finishes and Keaton shoves me playfully. “That voice.”
I laugh, but then when I find myself disappearing behind my smile, a stab of loneliness beats at my heart.
King nods his head, raising his glass to his mouth.
I stand and make my way to him because I want this. I want him. I’ve not gone through all that I have all to just give up on him.
I’m standing in front of him when his knees separate and his head tilts back. I see it in his eyes what he wants me to do, so I snake my hand around the back of his neck and lower myself onto his groin.
While I straddle his waist, he buries his face in my neck. “I’m fucking sorry.” His voice is mumbled, but that doesn’t destroy the fact that every single one of those words had a direct line to my heart.
“It’s okay,” I whisper, massaging his head.
He tilts his head up to me, and I drop my lips down to his. I kiss him softly, and his tongue sneaks out, licking me in my mouth.