“When I was twelve, I fell in love.” The words spill out, and I catch Bishop turning quickly to face me. I have his attention. Good. “His name was Heath Ledger.”
Bishop bursts out laughing, shaking his head when I glare at him. “I’m serious!”
“Listen, got nothing against Heath, but the man is opposite to Bran.”
I push up onto one elbow, resting my head in the palm of my hand while lying on my side. “Why does everything have to be compared to Brantley? We’re just—” I pause. What even are we? Friends? Family? “—Family? I guess. He’s the only family I’ve ever had. My guardian.”
Bishop’s eyelids get heavy. “You’re not stupid, Saint.”
“Mmm, but I am!” I raise my finger.
“How so? You can’t be worse than me. Fuck, please don’t be. There’s only room for one dumb motherfucker when it comes to relationships in this family.” He runs his fingers through his hair. “If my dad—” He pauses. “Our dad knew how I was dealing with everything, he’d probably give the gavel to you.”
I lick my bottom lip. “Want to switch stories?”
He tilts his head.
“No pressure. I’m probably going to tell you mine anyway because I need someone to talk to, and I love Tillie, but she wasn’t much help this morning.”
Bishop’s face is stoic, frozen. Slowly, I watch as his mouth curves into a full-blown smile.
I point. “You need to smile like that more often. I think we have the same teeth.”
He laughs. “We do. You’ve got Dad’s teeth.” Then he shifts over the bed, turning to me so I have his undivided attention. “Well then, tell big brother what’s bothering you, since the other sibling dropped the ball.”
I start picking at the fluff on the blanket, chewing on my bottom lip. “So, I kissed Brantley last night and then I tried to sleep with him, but failed. Well, sort of failed. He still, you know, finished me off.”
“Wow…” Bishop’s hands are up in front of his face protectively.
“What?” I snap. “You said I could talk to you!”
“Yeah, and you can, but I’m not the one to talk to you about all of that…”
“Will you just let me finish?” I glare at him, picking the fluff and doing the lip chew thing again. “So I kissed him. He kissed me back. Threw me onto his bed—”
Bishop groans, falling face-first onto the bed. “Listen, I know how Brantley fucks. This will not end well, so please just skip the details.”
“We didn’t!” I say, flustered enough to throw my arms up. “That’s the thing.”
“He didn’t?” Bishop tilts his head. “What?” Then he mumbles, “That’s a fucking first.”
“Not helping…” I sing, flopping onto my back. “Now I can’t stop thinking about it. Then this morning, I was still so upset with him even after running for two hours, that I dropped my towel in front of him.” I turn so I can see Bishop and his face is red from holding in his laugh. “Stop laughing at me!”
“I’m not!” He releases his laugh and it’s so damn loud the notes are bouncing off the walls.
“You’re an asshole.”
“Oh, to say the least, but that’s not a side you’ve seen. Yet. Carry on…” He rolls his hands.
“He just did nothing. I stood there naked and he didn’t care. Again.” My heart sinks.
“Saint.” Bishop chuckles, his laughter finally dying off. “Okay, I’m going to tell you what you need to do. I know Bran, and look at me—”
I do, bringing my eyes to his.
“You want him?”
I think over that three-word question. So simple, yet powerful enough to tip my world upside down.
“Yes. I’ve never been with another man before. I’d prefer it to be him, at least for my first.”
Bishop pauses, his mouth agape. “Ahhh, no. This is Brantley. And not just the Brantley that we know, but this is every part of that man’s fucked-up soul. You are either all in or all out, because there is no in-between with him.”
“What about Tillie?” Finally, that ugly green monster came out. “I love her, and have nothing against her, but the way he is with her. It makes me—”
“—jealous,” Bishop finishes. “Normal. You are my sister, after all. How good are you at keeping secrets?”
Too good.
He chuckles. “There’s always a third when a King finds his woman. Don’t take that in too deep.”
“Who was yours?” I ask, intrigued.
“Fucking Nate.” Bishop flexes his fingers. “And he is her stepbrother. It was fucking frustrating.”
I chuckle, sigh, and roll back to my side. “Okay. What do I need to do?”
After Bishop yaps off what I’m going to need to do to gain Brantley’s attention, he’s on his back beside me, my head on his chest with his eyes trained on the ceiling. We’ve been up here for at least two hours, with the sun long since setting in the sky.