“Why not here and now?” I narrow my eyes at her, feeling very much like prey in the vicinity of a hungry predator.
“There’s a lot to it, my dear sister. I’d like some time to get to know you. I could even drive us if you—”
“No!” I stand up, hands balled into fists at my side. “I’m not going anywhere with you, and I am not going back to Cascade Falls. I’m sick to death of all the secrets and lies, and I want nothing to do with it. Is that why you really came here, to drag me back to Ohio?”
I watch her closely as she places her hand on her chest and opens her mouth in feigned shock. I’m not buying any of it, and I glare at her until she answers.
“I wanted to meet my sister,” she says. She glances away, licking at her lips.
“Really?” I sneer. “You could have done that years ago.”
“It’s all very complicated.”
“I’m sure.” I keep staring at her.
“This must be a lot for you to take in.” Janna is all smiles again.
It’s all an act.
Whatever smidgen of curiosity I had vanishes. I no longer care about her real reason for being here. Whatever it is, I’m done.
“Well, you’ve met me. You can go now.”
“I won’t keep you,” she says with a soft, melodramatic sigh. “I just hoped you would listen to my side of things.”
“I listened.” I silently escort her to the front door, and she turns to look at me from the porch.
“I know you had a terrible falling out with the Orsos,” Janna says. “With Aunt Sofia gone…well, I didn’t want you to think you were alone in the world. I wanted you to know that I am here for you, as a sister, no matter what you might need. We are family, after all. Isn’t that what you wanted to find?”
I shut the door and lean my back against it, drawing in quick breaths. I’m completely shaken and nauseated by the whole encounter, and it takes me a few minutes to calm myself back down. I’m still fighting tears as I head to the kitchen and open the refrigerator, trying to find something to eat that will settle my stomach, but nothing appeals. I try watching television just to distract myself from thinking about what Janna said, what Nora said, and everything related to Nataniele Orso. It doesn’t work.
Nate.
I miss him. I know I do. All these thoughts of him are making me think about heart-shaped pancakes with maple syrup, peanut butter sandwiches covered in silver domes, and playful cheating during a game of eight-ball. I’m reminded of how much I actually cared about him despite everything that happened.
I wipe tears away from my cheeks and go to the kitchen again. It’s getting late, and I haven’t eaten since this morning. Once again, my stomach turns at the very thought of food, and I close the fridge without pulling anything out. I know I should eat something before I start wasting away, but I just can’t do it.
“It’s nerves, Vee,” I say to the plant hanging on a hook near the kitchen window. “No matter what I do, I can’t seem to shake them.”
Unable to eat anything and still not feeling well, I decide to go to bed early, but sleep doesn’t come. I’ve been numb since returning to Accident, refusing to think about the events in Cascade Falls. Between Nora’s call and Janna’s unexpected visit, everything that happened in Ohio marches through my head like an auctioneer going through the items in an estate sale. As the images advance, I can’t help but notice that the vast majority of my time there was good, and the best times were those spent with Nate.
The worst times were also spent with him.
I grab my pillow, pull it close to my chest, and take in a long, shuddering breath to steady myself.
It doesn’t help. My empty stomach groans, and the numbers of the alarm clock proceed well into the early hours of the morning. At some point, I must have fallen asleep since I’m awakened by the alarm on my phone.
I jump up to silence the phone and immediately get hit with a wave of dizziness and then nausea. I rush to the bathroom, but there’s nothing in my stomach to bring up. After splashing cold water on my face, I’m still dizzy, feel like complete shit, and am too emotionally exhausted to consider going to work. It’s the first time I’ve ever called in sick, and I’m clearly embarrassed when I talk to my boss.
“Please go see the doctor,” she says. “There’s a lot going around right now, and I want you to be well!”
Since she makes me promise, I go ahead and make myself an appointment. Since this is such a small town, my boss will probably find out if I don’t go, and the doctor’s office is actually right next to my house. When I call, he says he can see me immediately.
“Well, vitals all looking good,” he says. “No fever and your blood pressure is fine. There is one thing I’d like to check. Give me a minute.”
He leaves the room, and I twiddle my fingers until he comes back.
“Well, I think we’ve figured out what’s going on,” he says with a tentative smile.