Hoisting her up a little more, I leaned back and carried her out of the living room, into the hall, and through the bedroom door. In a single motion, I laid her down on the bed and covered her body with mine, never allowing our lips to part in the process. It was like curling up beside her while she slept, only better.
With her supported by the bed, my hands could occupy themselves with something other than holding her up. I slid them up her thighs and over her hips, and I realized just how long it had been since I had felt the smooth curves of a woman’s body in my hands. I felt the warmth of bare skin with my fingers as they reached the top of her jeans, and I slid my hand inside.
Tria moaned into my mouth, and her hands moved to my shoulders. She gripped me for a moment before her fingers moved down to my chest. I braced myself against the bed with one hand while the other moved up her side, feeling the soft flesh underneath her shirt and searching for more. I shifted my hips against hers in an instinctive rhythm.
She pressed her hands more firmly against my chest, and I moved to suck at the skin of her neck as my hand reached for her breast. I felt her breath against the side of my head as her fingers dug into my skin, pushing harder now.
“Liam, stop!”
I froze, and my blood pooled in my feet as I came to the understanding of where I was, what I was doing, and with whom.
She’s a virgin.
I had to lock every muscle to keep my body from continuing down the sordid path it wanted to take on its way to fulfill every shower-dream I had experienced since I met her. I squeezed my eyes shut and forced my hands flat against the mattress before I shoved up and away from her body.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“Don’t be,” I said. “Just, um…give me a minute.”
When I pushed myself up and off of her, I rolled over to my back as she sat up and wrapped her arms around her shoulders. I could feel her looking down at me but didn’t meet her gaze. I willed my cock to stop throbbing both painfully and obviously in my pants, but the moody little bastard wasn’t listening. My heart was beating too fast in my chest, and my hands were aching to run over her skin, but I knew I couldn’t do that—I still couldn’t do that.
The thought was more than I could take.
“Going outside,” I said as I shoved myself off the bed.
I glanced at her long enough to see her nod her head before I left the room. I walked out into the living room and grabbed my smokes out of my jacket pocket before running out the door and down the sta
irs. I lit the cigarette before I ever got outside and then leaned against the edge of the fire escape as I blew the smoke up into the overcast sky.
I closed my eyes and tried to figure out how I had gone and managed to do exactly what I told myself I wasn’t going to do. I wasn’t going to put her in this position. I wasn’t going to get in the way of her life. I wasn’t going to make a move on her and fuck up this little arrangement we had.
I tried not to feel as if what she had done and said was a rejection, but the thought bounced around in my head anyway.
I tossed the butt into the street and started to run. As I ran, the skies went from overcast to raining down on me. First, there was just a sprinkle and then a downpour before I made it to the tree. Circling the tree made me think of Thanksgiving dinner, and that just pissed me off some more.
I’d fucked up royally.
Taking back what I had done was impossible. I kissed her. I didn’t just kiss her but hauled her into bed and would certainly be fucking her right now if she hadn’t pushed me away. This was everything I said I wasn’t going to do, and now it was too late to take it back. I couldn’t just pretend I didn’t want in her panties because I wasn’t much better at lying than she was.
Picking up speed, I turned the corner around an old steel plant and saw our building. The rain ceased as quickly as it had started, leaving nothing but cold mist in the air. The back of my thigh was cramping up, and I was breathing too hard. Smoking before running, combined with the lack of warming up, was not a great idea. I slowed before I got to the grate that marked three miles and coasted to a stop right in front of the building. I leaned over with my hands on my knees and coughed a couple of times before reaching behind my leg and rubbing at the cramped muscle.
“Fucking hell,” I muttered. I stood up straight, reached my hands up over my head, and then leaned against the broken security door so I could stretch the muscle. A crow landed above me on the ineffective streetlamp outside the building, tilted its head, and cawed at me.
“Fuck you,” I snapped at the nasty black bird. It squawked again and apparently captured the attention of Krazy Katie.
“The birds of leaving call to us,” she sang down at me. “Yet here we stand endowed with a fear of flight.”
I glared up at her.
“Shut up, you crazy bitch.”
She just laughed in response and then continued with her babble.
“The winds of change consume the land, while we remain in the shadow of summers now past.”
Raising both hands, I flipped both her and the bird “the bird” before stomping back into the apartment building. I got up to my front door and hesitated, realizing immediately that this was exactly what I didn’t want to have happen.
I was hesitating because she was in there, and I didn’t know if I should go in or not. I wasn’t sure just how pissed off at me she was going to be, and rightly so. I mean, I yelled at her, kissed her, dry humped her, and then ran out on her.