“Not going to happen,” Tria giggled.
I kept talking total crap, and sometimes it seemed like Baby Katie was focusing on me, but mostly she was just pissed off. That is, until Tria let out a gasp and Baby Katie suddenly quieted. She closed her eyes and started to suck rapidly as I glanced at Tria.
Her teeth were ground together, but otherwise she seemed okay.
“No one ever told me this shit was going to hurt,” she said quietly.
“Don’t swear,” I replied with a smile.
Tria rolled her eyes.
“At least she’s eating now.”
With Baby Katie fed, we both managed to get a little sleep.
I was never one to embrace change, but when I looked in my daughter’s face, being a father seemed pretty cool.
Chapter 21—Realize the Family
The whole sleep deprivation thing wasn’t all that different from being strung out.
I was doing my best to keep it to myself, but it wasn’t easy. The first four weeks with Baby Katie at home were fine—Tria and I could both sleep when she slept. Once I went back to work, the morning, afternoon, and evening naps evaporated, and I was exhausted most of the time.
Of course, Tria shoved Baby Katie into my arms as soon as I walked in the door.
Baby Katie.
No one ever called her just Katie—she was always Baby Katie.
She was awesome.
She cried all the time—all night, all day—unless someone was holding her. Every time I thought about that nurse in the hospital telling me I was going to spoil her, a big smile crossed my face, and I held her even closer to me. She cooed sometimes, but more often she just burped or farted. On a good day, she stuck her tongue out at me.
I’d fucking spoil her forever if that’s what the word meant.
She slept with us in our bed, and I didn’t give a shit what some people said about how that was wrong or dangerous or whatever—I did the research, and outside western society, most of the world had family beds. I didn’t think we’d do it for long, but right now, as Tria had to nurse her about every thirty seconds, this was the way to go as far as we were concerned.
Tria’s boobs were sore, and if I touched them, she’d threaten to smack me. It was okay though, because we were allowed to have sex again, and I was making good use of that edict.
Yeah—the whole “your cock will never enter my cooch again” shit didn’t last long.
If Baby Katie ate but still wouldn’t sleep, Tria took her out so I could get more rest for work. During the day on the weekends, I took he
r so Tria could do the same.
Baby Katie always felt so warm and snuggly, I really didn’t mind. Tria needed the break when I got home from work—usually just to have enough time to take a shit or a shower—and I liked hanging out with my daughter on the couch. Sometimes she cried, and sometimes she slept, but usually she just looked at me as I babbled total bullshit at her.
Though I hadn’t actually attended a Sunday dinner at Michael’s yet, the entire family had been over to the house at one point or another. Julianne and Chelsea practically took turns living there the first week, and even Amanda came around a couple of times.
After the first time my cousin’s wife spent the afternoon with Tria and Baby Katie, I finally gave up waiting for Tria to tell me and flat out asked her what the deal was between the two of them. Tria just shrugged.
“She didn’t like me,” she told me with a harsh laugh.
“Why not?”
Tria laughed again.
“Every Thursday a truck came in with stuff for all the residents. Mostly it was donated clothing and a few toys. Right before Christmas, a delivery of brand new Christmas bears came in. They were big enough to use as a pillow, and when you squeezed their hands, they played Christmas songs. There were seven kids in the group home at the time and only six bears. I got the last one.”