“Clarify,” I demand. “What does being collared mean to you??
?
“It means…it means I would be yours...yours completely.”
“If you agree to sub for me, you are already mine,” I tell her. “How do you think a collar changes that?”
I give her a moment to form her thoughts.
“It’s a deeper connection,” she starts. “It’s a symbol of giving you complete and total control over everything in my life, all the time.”
All the time?
“Yvette,” I say softly as I take a step back and release her chin from my grip. “Speak your mind completely and honestly. Are you suggesting a twenty-four-seven arrangement?”
“I’d like to try,” she confirms.
It isn’t something I’ve ever done or even thought about. Having a sub all the time? Day in and day out? She would have to live with me in my apartment. She’d be there every day when I woke up and when I went to bed. Was I prepared to fill the role of Master at all times? Where is the line between sub and slave at that point?
Maybe there isn’t one.
“It’s not something I’ve considered.” I lean back against my desk without quite sitting on it and cross my arms over my chest. “Yvette, we haven’t even had a trial run. Don’t you think you’re jumping the gun here a bit?”
“Maybe,” she says. Her posture shifts as her demeanor becomes more casual again. She glances away before meeting my eyes. “I already feel a connection with you. And I’m…I’m…”
“You’re what?” I press when she doesn’t continue.
“I’m so tired,” she finally says. “Since everything that happened, I feel like every choice I’ve made on my own has been wrong.”
“Aren’t you making a choice here?”
“Yes,” she says.
I don’t bother to tell her that she could be making the wrong decision; she already knows. I can see it in her eyes. She’s frightened but not of me. She’s frightened of herself.
“I’ll consider it,” I say, capitulating. “I won’t put it in the contract because I do not believe that would be in your best interest, but I will consider it.”
She nods, but her eyes tighten at the corners. Reaching over my desk, I touch her under her chin, and she looks up at me.
“I take it as a good sign you made such a request,” I tell her. “Can I also assume this means when you have the need to safeword, I can count on you to do so?”
“Yes, sir,” she replies earnestly.
“Would you like to enter into a contract as my submissive, Yvette?”
“Yes, sir,” she replies, and I see the corners of her mouth turn up slightly. “Please.”
We both sign and then stand. The initial meeting is over, and I find myself both grateful and distressed that she is leaving. I collect her coat myself and hold it out so she can slip her arms through the sleeves and then walk her down to the lobby to hail her a taxi.
As a taxi halts in front of us, I turn to her. She glances up at me shyly.
“Kiss me,” I say. It’s a spur of the moment request, and I almost regret it.
Yvette licks her lips as she looks up at me through her lashes. She rises up on her toes and wraps her arms around my neck as she reaches for me. I place my hands on her hips, but don’t pull her against me. Her lips are warm despite the weather, and though I kiss her back, I don’t attempt to deepen the interaction. Even closed-mouthed and soft, I can feel my body reacting to her touch.
I pull back, and she drops her arms from my neck. For a moment we look at each other, and I can sense how hard she’s fighting to control her breathing. It makes me smile.
“If this weekend works out, I’ll want much more from you,” I inform her.