She mumbles against my shirt, but I can’t understand her. I take a half step back and take her face in my hands. I wipe the tears from her face with my thumb, and she leans into my hand.
“I still can’t believe it,” she whispers. “I keep looking up at all those people, trying to figure out why they’re here. Then it hits me all over again.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“He was there—just lying there in the bed—and then all those monitors went off. He…he was trying to breathe, but it sounded like he was choking. Then the nurses were pushing me away, but they couldn’t help…”
I pull her back against me and wrap my arms around her, closing my eyes and trying to keep myself from crying in front of her. I hadn’t been there when it happened. I didn’t find out until Paulie called from the hospital and told me it was over.
I should have been there.
As I try to keep myself composed, Lucia suddenly places her hands on my chest and shoves me away.
“You said he was going to be fine!” I feel like her eyes are digging into mine, and I have to look away. “He was only supposed to have a damn bullet taken out of him! Not this! If you had been there with him…”
She gasps, a choking sound caught in her throat as her hands cover her face, and she throws herself back against me.
“Oh God, Evan!” Lucia’s arms tighten around me. “What am I going to do? I can’t handle all of this—I know I can’t!”
“Shh…” I don’t have any words that will make a difference, so I don’t offer any. I hold onto her tightly as she cries against my jacket.
Everything that happens next is later a blur to me.
Lucia turns her face to mine. Her cheeks are red and blotchy, and her eyes are bloodshot. I stroke her cheek and look into her soft brown eyes as her hand reaches up around my neck. A moment later, I feel her mouth on mine, and my body responds.
There is nothing gentle about the way I kiss her. It’s frantic and nearly violent as I grab the back of her head and pull her mouth hard against mine. She slides her hands inside my jacket, and I let go of her long enough to let her shove it off my shoulders, but I never release her mouth. The jacket falls to the ground in a heap as Lucia attacks the buttons of my shirt with her fingers.
Reaching for her ass, I pick her up and drop her on the top of the desk. Grabbing frantically, I push her dress up around her waist and pull at her hose and panties as she works to loosen my belt. She releases my cock, stroking it with her hand as she leans back on the desk with her shoulders against the wall, her ass hanging right at the edge. With a single step forward, I’m in position.
I thrust up hard, impaling her as I immerse myself in her flesh. I pull back, thrust again, and her hands grip the back of my head. She tucks her face against my shoulder to muffle her cries and wraps her legs around me.
Sweat from my forehead trickles down into my eyes. I clench my teeth, trying not to scream. I don’t even know what words would come out of my mouth if I did. My mind has no idea what my body is doing. I only comprehend the pressure behind my eyes and the heat around my cock.
Lucia moves her hands down my back and grips my ass, encouraging me to move faster. Her quiet cries are sharp, matching my thrusts as her heels dig into the back of my thighs.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I keep pounding into her. My body is on automatic as my bra
in tries to cope with everything inside of it. I want all my thoughts to just disappear, one thrust at a time.
He’s gone. He’s gone, he’s gone, he’s gone…
Lucia cries out again, slightly louder than before, and her body tenses around me. She drops her head to my shoulder, and I quicken my movements.
My legs start to shake, and I place one hand on the top of the desk to keep myself upright. I wrap my other arm around Lucia’s waist to keep her in position as she reaches around my back and grabs my shoulders. I feel the quivering buildup in my balls, and a tingling sensation makes its way from my stomach to the base of my cock and explodes outward.
Grunting, I shove into her once more, emptying myself into her body as she tightens her legs around my waist. We pant against each other, and her tears wet my shoulder as they leak through my shirt.
I pull out slowly, tucking my dick back into my pants as I help Lucia to her feet. She makes eye contact for half a second before she wipes at her cheeks and reaches down to fix the straps on her heels. Silently, I button my shirt and stare at the top of the desk.
I’m as dazed as I had been, holding Rinaldo’s casket.
“We should get back before someone notices,” Lucia says softly.
“Yeah.” I nod. “Do you want to go first, or should I?”
“I will.” She uses her hands to fix her hair a little and then straightens her skirt. “Do I look okay?”
She looks freshly fucked. That’s how she looks, but I don’t say that.