Specimen

“Relax. Focus on your breath.”

“I can’t!”

She takes my free hand in hers and holds it to her body, right over her heart.

“Focus on me, then,” she says. “Feel my heartbeat.”

My fingers twitch. I can feel the steady beat in each fingertip. Closing my eyes, I count the beats. One hundred. Two hundred. Three hundred.

Minutes pass. I keep counting. Eventually, my body begins to adjust and my muscles relax. I become aware of not just her heartbeat but of how close my hand is to her breast. My dick strains in my shorts.

I reach out with my legs, wrapping them around her waist and bringing her body toward my crotch. Releasing her hand, I reach up and grab the back of her head and use the other hand to push the collar of the lab coat out of the way. The blue of her blouse contrasts with her skin. It’s beautiful, enticing.

With one finger, I trace the edge of her collar, brushing over her skin. I can feel her heart beating under my fingertip, and I want to taste the spot where I’ve touched her. I look back to her eyes. She’s staring at my lips.

I bring us together, pressing my mouth to hers gently at first but then with more vigor. I can taste mint on her breath as my tongue slides over hers. I thread my fingers through her hair and tighten my thighs around her waist, holding her close to me. I trail my finger farther down her collar and spread my hand to cup her breast.

She pulls back, breaking the kiss.

“Sten, you’ll have to stop that now.”

“I don’t want to.”

“I know.” She touches the side of my face, running her hand over my rough cheek.

“I want you. I need you.” I don’t understand why I’m explaining myself. It’s clear to me from her scent that she wants this too, but she keeps pushing me away. She denies me as she denies herself.

Why?

“I’m sorry, Sten. I know this is hard on you.” Her fingers play under my jaw, and I press my face to her hand.

I feel her touch on the inside of my wrist. Closing my eyes, I sigh heavily. The lust is still there, but it has subsided slightly. For now, her touch is enough.

“How do you calm me like this?” I ask her.

“All part of the service,” she says with a chuckle.

Service. Service me. Service my cock.

I pull her closer with my legs, and my fingers clutch at her hips. She withdraws her touch and pushes me away.

“I can’t have you doing this, Sten.” Riley shakes her head. “Not today. Not with Captain Mills coming.”

I swallow and look down at my now empty hands. They feel cold as she steps away from me. My imagination takes hold, and I see myself grabbing her, holding her on her back against the bed. I push her legs apart and force myself inside of her.

“I…I can’t stop thinking about it.” Looking back to her, I see sympathy in her eyes.

“I’ll get something arranged.”

*****

Riley’s absence is doing nothing for my emotional state. I can only assume it’s the increased dose that’s impacting me this way, but I can barely keep myself together. I keep rubbing my hands on my thighs. My palms are sweating. I’m thirsty and cup my hand under the faucet to drink at the sink.

Where did she go?

She said she was going to arrange something, but I don’t know what she meant. She left shortly afterward, and she’s been gone three hours. She’s never left me alone like this during the day before. Usually I wake up and she’s here, and she doesn’t leave my side until I lie down to sleep.

Without any other direction, I decide to take a shower. Maybe a cold one would help. I undress, tossing my clothes into a basket near the cabinet, and turn on the water. I can’t stand the cold for long, and end up increasing the temperature after only a moment. I lather up, rinse off, and then grab a towel to wrap around my waist as I shave.